HW 36 - Pregnancy & Birth Stories

As Benjamin Disraeli once said, “We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end.” Human existence relies on the hope that each one of us will find a mate to continue the cycle. After interviewing three people who have experienced birth and pregnancy, an obvious connection between them is that they all seem to be following the social norm society sets up; a set path of, “soul mate”, marriage, baby and death. It poses as sort of strange that most of us will or have followed a similar route.

My first interviewee explained to me that she felt as though she were a different person, someone who no longer could physically hold her emotions inside for they had become a part of the surface. No matter what mood she was in, one could always tell exactly how she was feeling. Although she took good care of herself and avoided foods that were exposed to flame since they caused her to feel nauseous, she couldn’t avoid the weight gain. She went by the books, attending pre-natal exercise classes, seeing an obstetrician regularly and even took part in a Lamaze class, where she learned how to give birth naturally without drugs. She then explained to me that after months of preparing for her natural birth, complications from the baby prevented it from happening. She was upset that a sea section would have to be performed on her but knew that it was the only solution to bringing her baby safely into the world. She had hoped her whole life that she would have a child but knew that it needed to be with the right person. Throughout her pregnancy she felt anticipation, excitement, fear of the unknown and pure joy.

Listening to this person speak about their experience confirmed my initial thoughts on birth. Although we have a sense of what it is going to be like, we truly don’t know exactly what is going to happen until the moment it does. The fact that she had to have a sea section made me understand how birth has advanced so much. In history women and babies died all the time from complications, she prepared for a birth more similar to those of history and yet due to conflict had to resort to the more dominant manor of going about.

The second person I interviewed was very similar to the first. She went up in shoe size, experienced stretch marks and gained a lot of weight. She also took part in Lamaze classes and successfully gave birth naturally. She explained that before she was pregnant drinking was very much a part of her social life and it was difficult to have to stop drinking. However she joked that being pregnant made her feel like a queen, anything she wished for was someone else’s command. She made it very clear that if she hadn’t had such a supportive family she wouldn’t of made it through the pregnancy. She advised me to consider my financial circumstances before deciding to have a baby, although her pregnancy wasn’t planned she felt responsible enough to be able to provide for it. Since she had a natural birth, she felt all of the pain but it was amazing to see her very own child.

After hearing a very similar story to my first interviewee it made me wonder if subconsciously we set up the type of image we want to be seen as a pregnant person. If through our choices we connect the dots to make one sort of person. It then made me think about the stereotypical types of pregnant people floating around our society. The teenage mom, the Zen mom, the older mom, when and how we give birth seems to make more of a statement than the birth itself.

For my final interview I decided it was probably a good idea to hear a story from the opposite gender. Surprisingly he felt many of the same emotions that the women did, very proud and excited but a little bit anxious. Although physically he wasn’t affected he could empathize with his wife. He expressed that while she was going through the pregnancy everyone around him was very excited and happy for both of them, people were constantly asking about the development of the baby and were both concerned and curious. He found the moment of birth to be exciting and amazing that another creature could be brought into the world.

Emotions seem to be quite similar for both male and female during pregnancy. However it seems as though the female has more say in how she will spend the nine months. It seems like besides giving their mate full on support and comfort there really isn’t much for the man to do. He is there for her every need, from food to foot massages, physically speaking though he isn’t affected in the least bit. Yet part of me thinks the way the two people interact throughout the pregnancy in many ways does affect the physical aspects of both.

What are the pros and cons of having a natural birth? Are you setting yourself up for risk, would it just be safer to take drugs?

HW 35 - Other Peoples' Perspectives 1

I came home this evening smelling like baby spit and an endless amount of tears. The six month old that I sit for has just begun teething and isn't handling it too well. It's always a big battle between us, we both know when he is going to cry and prepare ourselves for the moment. I start singing and bouncing around the room, he adjusts his head to watch himself in the mirror. It’s kind of remarkable how two individuals without communication know exactly what is going on. As he finally began to fall asleep he starred deeply in my eyes, and I thought to myself how great it would be to be able to interview him. His memories of the womb were fresh and he probably knows exactly what his grand entrance felt like. I began to think about the irony in the idea behind interviewing someone our own age, someone who has neither given birth or has experienced being born recently. It got me thinking about how little we know at our current stage and how a six month old probably knows more.

After interviewing three of my friends they all seemed quite naïve about the subject of birth. I find it kind of ironic that all three of these girls want to have babies and yet know so little about it. It’s like if you decided to buy a car and knew nothing about how it worked until you had signed the papers and were in the drivers seat. I know a baby and a car are not at the same level but it still does pose as sort of strange. I am very curious about how a baby knows when it’s time to say hello… I decided to ask my friends to see if they had any knowledge on the question. My friend K.B. said, “They don’t, there are certain stages in a human and the first stage is called the sensory motor stage. The most they know is who their mom is, but they aren’t aware of actual existence or their own existence, so there is no way that they know when to come out.” I decided to look up what exactly sensory motor stage was and found that it happens when the baby is already out of the womb. Then I asked my friend E.R. the same question, she said, “Babies know when to come out of the womb when they are ready to come out of the birth canal, which usually occurs at about nine months.” Her understanding seemed about the same as mine and so I asked my friend R,F., “Honestly, I have no idea. Scientifically, babies are expected to come out of the womb approximately 9 months after conception. Spiritually, I know that some people believe G*d "tells" the baby the time to be born. Although I am not exceptionally religious, I believe babies know to come out after 9 months because we as humans are designed that way, so perhaps there is some sort of greater force delegating these things.” I decided my best bet was to look it up myself… Surprisingly enough there was hardly any information on Google except for websites like answers.com… I found a website called kgb answers which said, “When the placenta can no longer feed the baby, the mother's body releases oxytocin, a hormone, which causes contractions and soften the tissue of the cervix.” Considering the little I know about birth this seemed like the most logical answer I could find.

At a more intellectual level of birth I wonder if the baby I sit for is even truly living at this point. Most of us come in and out the same way. Someone else feeds us, someone else changes us and we cry hoping for the comfort of someone else. Is this really living or are we merely waiting for beginnings and endings? I posed the question to my friends, K.B. said, “When we experience adrenaline, whether it’s on a rollercoaster or we just performed a play, essentially when we reach that level of excitement. I think we are living but until that moment we aren’t alive.” I wondered though what if a person never rode a rollercoaster or performed a play, would that mean they went their whole life without actually living? However my friend R.F. felt the complete opposite, “I think we truly become alive the moment we begin breathing after being born, because alive does technically mean living, not dead, breathing, etc. There are a great many things people do to feel alive, myself included, but I don't think one is not truly "alive" before experiencing them.” Defining life by a scientific variable seemed sort of odd to me as well. E.R. responded by saying, “One is truly alive the moment they begin to develop in the womb. Scientifically, when a mother is pregnant she is no longer just responsible for her own health, yet is responsible for the health of her child who lives off her nutrients.” I found it interesting that all three of them thought life began at very different stages. It made me realize that a question such as this one is honestly defined by each individual, for the moment we decide to become alive, will be the moment we start to truly live.

HW 34 - Initial Thoughts on Birth

Mentally I don't think we are ready for birth. We've seen it in the movies, we have heard our share of stories but in reality we don't know exactly what is going to happen. It makes me wonder if preparing for birth is really necessary? Would it be better to just go with the flow, let nature take it's course? This idea led me to think about how a baby knows when it is ready to make its first appearance. The difference between a premature baby and a "normal" baby. Do babies have thoughts in the womb? How do they pass the time? Are they nearly in a unconscious state for nine months? Society focuses so much attention on what happens after but yet hardly is there ever discussion about who we were before.

How do our minds and spirits become attached to our physical bodies? Are they always a package deal or do they grow progressively throughout our initial hibernation? Once the baby leaves the warm inside do they feel equal amount of pain in comparison to the mother? Beneath all of our memories does this one exist? Are birthing classes really just another excuse to make money? In so many other societies girls give birth at very young ages but in our country teenage pregnancy is strongly frowned upon. Doesn't it seem strange that MTV chooses to document and exploit examples of who our culture stigmatizes?

1. Why does a "normal" pregnancy last nine months?
2. What are the advantages and disadvantages of an at home birth?
3. Is it painful to be born from the babies perspective?
4. What triggers premature pregnancy?

Extra Credit

“I wish we could start it all over again, it doesn’t go on forever.” She said softly to my mother. She seemed hesitant and completely lucid of her thoughts. I sat there looking around at all of her friends, filling what was now her home. I looked at her, she had a puzzled face. She turned to me, “I don’t really have any idea of what is going on.” It seemed strange and unimaginable to me to be with people who had made such an impact on my life and to have the slightest idea of who they were. I wondered what was going through her head, through her spirit, through her body. I walked down the hallway of the nursing home; saw a man in a wheelchair sleeping. It scared me that one day I could be sitting in a place just like this. A building filled with all of our fears and the thoughts we avoid pondering over. No wonder she was so puzzled I thought, she was trapped in a world that had only one way to escape, death.

Every time I visited her my mother had to remind her who I was, and how she knew me. Part of me felt as though she never really fully understood exactly who I was. I felt awkward sitting with her and felt a loss of words. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t want to confuse her but I didn’t want to ignore her. It left me feeling just as helpless as she did. Where had her memories gone? Was her mind dying before her body? She went in and out of what she used to be and what she had become. Bursts of life spread across the room and seconds later vanished.

I watched her eyes examine every inch of the room, and I wondered what the alternative to this would be… She couldn’t stand up on her own, she didn’t know what was going on most of the time and she had no family to be at her side. Was this really her only option? I wondered if she wanted to live anymore, did she still find purpose? I think she understood the life she used to live was never really going to come back. Could she process the feeling of being alone anymore? Or was she unaware of it? The system we live in gives us very few options, it feels like you either need a family to support you or an institution to make sure you don’t fall. Before I left her I said I would bring photographs to show her next time, her face lit up for a moment it seemed as though the life she used to live was present again. I walked out of the nursing home sad by the fact that the next time I saw her, she would have no idea who I was and wouldn’t remember our plan to look at my photos, I wondered how long she would continue to live like this…

HW 33

From Steph: Your post started off very interesting, I was automatically pulled in an connected immediately. I found it interesting how both you and Megumi stated that death is unavoidable and how you just have to live in the moment. I feel like your post really explained everything you gained from this unit and you showed that by explaining how you have to live more in the moment. Great post and continue with the great work!

From Megumi: I really enjoyed reading your post! I found the post very detailed in imagery and grabbed my interest in reading it thoroughly. I agree that though death is unavoidable we should not fear death itself. I found this line very interesting, "Although what happens to our body isn’t always up to us, our minds and spirits are in our complete control. By knowing this the defeatist attitude about getting old, should be altered." I found this very insightful and I do agree that our negative attitude towards the elderly really needs to be changed. There is no shame in age.

From Carol (Older): It is so comforting to read your post and to know how much you are growing and maturing into such a loving, kind person with insight. When we are young it is so hard to believe we will be old someday. I like to imagine how all the older people I meet must have been and how they looked when they were younger. They were just like younger people today, like you and your friends, filled with incredible amounts of energy and enthusiasm and beautifully young! They were on the precipice of their adult life and now they are on another precipice...one that hopefully they are ready for! If we are fortunate we grow beautifully old and become examples of a life lived well. xoxo Mom

From Rebecca (Younger): I really liked the way you described every detail in the first paragraph. I too go running in the park but never take the time to notice everything around me. My favorite line was, "...even in our moments of solitude there is always someone willing to help us." It seems like you learned a lot about yourself and how you want to lead your life. Good Job. Rebecca

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To Steph: Steph - You seem to have a better understanding of your personal views on the subject of illness and dying. It seems clear that you are aware of the medical system in the United States and in other countries. I think to be informed is very important. "Over all I think Americans should be more open-minded..." How do you think you can help to shift the perspective of the country? What can we do as the next generation to change the way our country views the world? You seem to be on to something, I want to hear more!

To Jay: Although your blog post went a bit off topic I think you brought up some interesting points. "...can herd all of the sheep of America..." My question to you is, don't you feel like one of those sheep as well? What seperates you from the rest of us? How can we begin to change the way we live to stop being the sheep?

To Megumi: I found your post honest and real. Although you seem to have grown you still are unsure about how you want to lead your life, which is perfectly fine. I thought it was interesting that even after all we know about hospitals you still would go to one in a time of need. Honestly, I would probably do the same. I think your writing and insights have grown, and this is very evident especially in this post. Great Job Megumi! :)

HW 32 - Thoughts following Illness & Dying Unit

On Thursday afternoon I decided to go to Central Park for a run, once I arrived it was clear that the run wasn't happening. The path was covered in ice, however I decided to walk and hope that I wouldn't fall. I looked out at the reservoir, saw ducks gliding across the water, birds flying up above. Yet I didn’t see another person in sight. I took out my headphones and listened to the water moving, and the wind blowing. I felt calm and content with that very moment. Although I was alone, I didn’t feel alone at all; I was surrounded by all of the other life that exists along side with us. I heard footsteps and soft voices behind me. “If you fall, we will help you.” I turned around and three strangers smiled at me. They continued walking, and I stopped to watch the ducks glide and the birds fly up above. I thought to myself, how interconnected we all are, and even in our moments of solitude there is always someone willing to help us up.

Regardless of all of the nightmarish practices in our culture, I am taking something else away from this unit. I need to learn how to stop worrying and waiting for something bad to happen. Death is unavoidable, and fearing the moment it is going to happen will not get me anywhere. By embracing all of the beauty the world offers and having moments of stillness, I can bring myself back to center. I understand clearly now the importance of stepping back and taking a good look at the path we are on. These paths are not set in stone, for at any given time we have the ability to change them. Although what happens to our body isn’t always up to us, our minds and spirits are in our complete control. By knowing this the defeatist attitude about getting old, should be altered. I know now that when I do die I want to be surrounded by people who truly care about me, in my own home, where I will go in stillness.

HW 31 - Comments Three

From Megumi: I can tell from reading this whole post that you really put the effort in this project, and I enjoyed reading it a lot! Before reading the post, I only knew that alzheimer was an illness of 'forgetting everything'-but after reading your post I had a better understanding of the disease. I laughed a little when I read the little tips to prevent alzheimer and found that good to know. One line I found particularly insightful was, "however, if death is what our final destination is than are we really living or just dying? Society seems to make living out to be as normal and dying is completely not normal. Dying is completely normal, so why do we put such a strain on the step?" You brought up a good question here, and its a question up for discussion. When thinking and really analyzing death and living, we find the weirdness among what the general public just categorizes as 'normal.'

From Steph: First sentence was amazing, "As much as we have a choice on the person we want or would like to be our bodies have a mind of their own." This is compeltly true and many of us haven't accepted that yet. The 8 things you listed to prevent Altimezer's are there statistics that prove those 8 things will actually help? I really enjoyed reading your

post and it really opened my mind.

From Rebecca (Younger): This post was very engaging and exposed me to a deeper understanding of Alzheimer's. The line that I liked the most was, "It makes me wonder though if my grandfather was in two universes at once. If maybe Alzheimer’s is a point where you are merely stuck in time and although your body keeps moving forward your mind is still." Maybe having this disease allows you to literally be in the afterlife and the real world at the same time. Good Job. -Rebecca

From Carol (Older): This is an interesting blog because you are researching and explaining a disease but you are mostly talking about living life to its fullest and hopefully having a "good death" - meaning not one filled with pain and confusion. The line you wrote: "It makes me wonder though if my grandfather was in two universes at once." struck me because with all the modern technology we are all living in more than one universe at a time. We are where we are physically but we can also be somewhere else mentally and not really present. I think meditation could help fight many diseases too by calming the mind and body and bringing them together. Great presentation! Mom

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To Steph: Steph - Your post and your experience in the nursing home reminded me a lot of when I went to a nursing home. The description in your opening paragraph immediatly embraces the reader. The line that stood out to me the most was, "In our culture it is very common for families to send there ill family members to a nursing home because it is an easy way out and they don't have to take responsibility for another human being." I agree with you, at a certain point people loose patience and the ability to stay sane, they resort to the "professionals" and loose the constant contact. It would be interesting for you to visit another nursing home and see if they are similar or different. Overall I thought this was very thoughtful and liked the way you described it while presenting to the class!

To Megumi: Megumi - I found your choice of topic very interesting. I would of never considered depression to fall under the category of illness and dying, however after reading your post I see why it does. The line that stood out to me the most was, "The illness and dying unit made me uncomfortable most of the time, but helped me confront the things I have been avoiding." Being able to admit you feel uncomfortable is actually very mature, and shows that you accept your emotions and are willing to work with them. I think by exploring a topic that has affected you personally you continue to go up mountains that are unknown at first. The tone of your voice in this post was very clear and well written. Great Job! :)

To Jay: Jay - I found your approach on this homework to be a bit different but I think you did a good job with making your point. I think by examining how technology relates to illness and dying we saw it from a different perspective, the cures, the hope we find in this confusing world. The line that stood out to me was, "With diseases like, the one we focused on, AIDS, technology plays a huge role in the advancement of medicine. New drugs that are released further the fight against monsterous diseases such as HIV/AIDS." When I think of fighting a disease I normally resort to medication as the first step however in order to reach that step technology is needed. It would be interesting though to explore how diseases were cured before the dominant use of technology. Using natural resources instead of manmade. However, overall I think this was well done!

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Jessica - Great Job with your presentation I could tell you were very passionate about this topic and that it was personal. Your blog post was very informative about the details of your experience. I liked that you included a video to further explain what exactly open heart surgery is. If you were to edit this it would be interesting to hear your perspective on this surgery especially since you were alive in 2007. Overall though good job with this project!

Michelle - I really enjoyed your presentation and use of prop in school and so I decided to come check out your blog. My favorite line from your writing was, " So these elders are sent off to nursing home, where they are taken care of by a complete strangers. This is when abuse and neglect can transpire." It poses an interesting point, we are so worried about always being around people we are familiar with but once we don't have a choice we are shipped off to strangers. We don't consider the sick or elderly to have ideas and presume this is what they would want, when in reality if we were put in their shoes I doubt any of us would agree to this lifestyle change...Good Job with the post and the presentation! :)