HW 25 - Response to Sicko

Précis: A film that unravels the intricate problems with Health Insurance in the United States. From hospital bills not being covered to a 79-year-old man still working so he can pay for his pills. Insurance companies make it clear that if you have a preexisting condition you can almost guarantee you won’t be insured. Moore approaches the situation from many angles, showing the audience clips of Nixon, Hilary Clinton and even Bush. The audience is exposed to alternative health care systems in Canada, New Britain and France. As the film progresses the audience picks up on the abnormality of the Health Insurance in the United States, making it clear that among the western world it is the only country without FREE Health Insurance.

Evidence:

1A:

· In countries such as Canada, New Britain and France people live longer than they do in the United States. They all ironically have a free medical system. “Even the poorest person in New Britain is healthier than the richest person in America.” (News reporter from New Britain)

1B:

· The advantages of having a more socialist medical system in comparison to the United States medical system. Not only is it free for everyone it also has shown longer expected lives.

2A:

· Bush and other members of congress were paid to pass the Medicare Part D prescription drug plan, bringing in $800 billion tax dollars to the drug and health industry.

2B:

· The government isn’t in it for the people they are in it for themselves. Moore used this piece of evidence to open that drugs in New Britain are $10 and if you are over 60 or under 16 they are free. So while senior citizens in the United States are paying over $2000 a year, Britain’s senior citizens are paying nothing.

D – While first trying to find more information on New Britain’s Health System I had difficulty finding anything past 2005. Then I came across a website that gave help to people who needed to know the real deal with their prescription drugs. Moore’s facts in Sicko were completely right. The age now though is people over 59 can receive free prescription drugs and if you are still in school at age 19 you can also receive free prescription drugs. If you have low income, medical exemption or just had a baby in the last twelve months it is also free! In the United States the Health Insurance Companies exclude people with pre-existing conditions. For example one of the pre-existing conditions is diabetes, while in New Britain if you have diabetes you fall under the medical exemption and end up having to pay nothing for your drugs. (“Help With Health Costs NHS Business Services Authority." NHS Business Services Authority. Web. 20 Dec. 2010. .)

3: I find it quite frightening that my body has a big price tag on it, just another concept that makes us a number. After watching Sicko I thought to myself, maybe I should move…? I feel like everything in our country is just another sale and WE are the best deals out there. I can’t imagine being a member of congress and being able to sleep at night, knowing that someone out there is suffering physically and mentally because of me. However, I had to remind myself that Moore has a reputation for exposing the truth in a one sided point of view. Andy also pointed out that his thesis and what he was arguing didn’t always match up. Yet the audience is so disgusted by this information that they don’t have time to say, “wait? Doesn’t that contradict what his thesis was?” Just like the Food System in our country the Health System is also directly linked to members of the government. What is it about the United States that makes people who are already rolling in the dough need to have more? What gives them that superiority? It seems as though people in other Western countries are perfectly fine being equal… and isn’t our country based on equality?

HW 24 - Illness & Dying Book Part Three

Author: Tracy Kidder

Title: Mountains Beyond Mountains

Publisher: Random House

Year Published: 2003

Precis: Paul Farmer dedicated his life to helping people who had minimum access to medical help. One could say that he had trouble staying in one place for too long. He was constantly traveling and finding different cultures of people who all had similar problems, they were sick. From the prisoners of Russia to the people of Peru and Haiti, Farmer stood his ground and wouldn't take "No" for an answer. Through his work he experienced challenges, from the government to his audience who was often filled with people who covered their eyes at the sight of poverty. Yet to many his skills and compassion put him very high in the medical world. Farmer knew what poverty felt like, his family struggled with money while he was growing up. However money didn't stop Farmer from achieving his goals, he studied at Duke University and later Harvard Medical School. The expression from rags to riches doesn't apply to Farmer in the least bit, he wasn't in the medical field for the money, he had a purpose and goals that needed to be fulfilled. Farmer was aware of his ambition but understood the value of being realistic. From an onlooker though his success was not insufficient. His inspiration to make a difference spread from the medical center he started in Haiti, where everyday he entered it was as if a god had walked into the room. To the organization Partners in Health. Through it all his loyalty to these people was not unnoticed, not only was he changing the lives of the less fortunate but changing the attitude of what the medical system had become.

1. "Farmer had told me that playing the game of international health politics didn't come easily to him. But he was good at it, clearly, and as the days in Moscow wore on, his smiles and his vigor returned and with them, somehow, the illusion of stylishly dressed man." (Page 234) Farmer had the ability to overcome challenges that came at him very different angles. His skill of doing this lead him to be much more open-minded than the next person.

2. "The audience would laugh, and Farmer would say, speaking of the Gates grant, "It's a wonderful thing for us, but it's very focused on our project in Peru. And we're focused on the problems of the poor. On accidents, machete wounds, burns, eclampsia. Imagine asking a foundation to support. They'd say, 'We have a procedure and it doesn't include those things, as you'll see when you look in volume three of our grants manual.' We've had a run of luck, but it's not going to solve the problems of our sister organizations-in Chiapas, in Roxbury, in Haiti." Then he'd pause and, smiling down from the lectern at the old friends of PIH, intone, "So you are not dismissed." (Page 242) He voice's the ideas and desires of groups of people who without him, would not have a say. Through this he fires a movement to change the way the rest of the world sees health. His tone is relaxed but his message is deep.

3. "Ti Jean remarks that the pond cost a lot of money, then says to Farmer, "As if I wouldn't approve. It's not one thing that makes you happy. If only you saw patients, you might not be happy." (Page 281) After re-reading this a number of times and going over the context of the quote I was still slightly confused by what Jean was saying. It seems as though there is no constant drive of happiness even for a person so uninvolved with themselves and more concerned with the welfare of others.

4. "Several small children have come to the doorway. They stand there, peering in. Farmer says to them, speaking of the sad-looking woman of the house, "You love her a lot? Do you tell her? Don't lie to me now." The children giggle. The old woman smiles. Farmer nods toward a naked toddler in the doorway. "Look at his toy."" (Page 285) This reminded me a lot of when Farmer's father died, after receiving the letter his father left him, he just sat there and cried. Maybe he regrets the tension present between himself and his father, and wants to remind those who still have time to say "I love you" to do so. In a sense his compassion towards all of the people he encounters is maybe a way of him making up for the emptiness experienced with his father.

5. "This continues. Another figure passes us, and Farmer says, "Bonsoir," and Ti Jean shushes him, then issues these instructions: If someone passes you at night and doesn't speak, you must remain silent, but if the person asks who you are, you must say, "I am who you are," and if the person asks what you do, you must say, "I do what you do." (Page 297) Although I know Jean is talking about voodoo in a sense he is basically summing up how Farmer lives. We are all just people and although we come from different backgrounds in the end we are more similar than different. If we live thinking that our differences should come between us than what sort of satisfaction would we get out of that? None.

This book certainly talks about illness and dying but I don't think those are the only elements covered. It gives us insight into the real problems of the world. We often forget that our minor problems are so irrelevant to those of people in third world countries. We complain about phones and computers, why are we wasting our time? Farmer shows us that life can be filled with a tremendous amount of joy, you just have to look deeply for it. People in Haiti live for a much shorter amount of time than we do but I am sure they would be shocked with how we live our long lives. We take for granted the amount of time we have to explore, to breathe, to dance. We see the world as a thin strip when we should really see it as many different levels. Farmer shows us that he was one of the few people who wasn't brain washed to live based off of a capitalist world. I can't imagine changing my whole lifestyle now and running off to help people. The amount of inner strength you must have to do something like that is unimaginable. Our country bases a lot of it's underlying values of off doing things for the country and for ourselves, we have made ourselves out to be self-centered. We have lost any hope of doing something truly for the better good of others. Mountains Beyond Mountains awakens us to see that death is unavoidable but the way we live our lives is completely up to us.

HW 23 - Illness & Dying Book Part Two

Author: Tracy Kidder

Title: Mountains Beyond Mountains

Publisher: Random House

Year Published: 2003

Precis: Paul Farmer's ambition to treat those with TB continues to sky rocket. Poverty and sickness are connected, this idea pushes him to go beyond Haiti, and to start a movement to help those in third world countries. (Part III - Part V)

1. "On this map, the line dividing the two color-coded parts of humanity-what Farmer called the "great epi divide" (epi being short for epidemiological)-would partition many countries, many cities. Most of Haiti would wear the color of ill health, but parts of the hills above Port-au-Prince would be a patch of well-being. The map of the United States, by contrast, would depict a healthy nation speckled with disease." (Page 125) After watching Sicko, Farmer's insight on the dividing line of health is interesting. In the movie it came off as though in comparison to other Western countries we are the least healthy. However when you compare our health system to Haiti's, sickness is rare.
2. "Word got back that guerrillas had planted the bomb because the pharmacy represented "crumbs for the poor," a palliative designed to curb the growth of revolutionary fervor... Jim felt insulted. Paul would tell him: "Remember, serving the poor in Carabayllo is more important than soothing your own ego. It's called eating s*** for the poor." This sort of advice was always tonic for Jim." (Page 131) I can't imagine seeing the world through those who bombed the pharmacy. It seems as though the trend of greed, that is very predominate in our country gives us the sense that we should only help ourselves.
3. "But these really wasn't much question of turning away. Jim took an expansive view: "Forgive me for saying this, but the great thing about TB is that it's airborne." Tuberculosis was only predominantly a disease of the poor, Jim reasoned... In the era of AIDS, the affluent world would have to pay attention to the threat of TB so difficult to treat, and to dire but real possibility that "superbug," strains resistant to every known antibiotic, would spread across borders-between homeless shelter and Park Avenue in New York, between poor and wealthy nations. "We've got to say, "MDR is a threat to everyone, ' " Jim declared. "We can scare the world, and if we do this project right, we can have a global impact." (Page 143) In many ways the struggle of getting well off people involved in helping the poor seems a lot like the Food Industry. Unless you are personally affected by the issue at stake you have no reason to care. An illusion of the health system is put into place and we buy every word of it, and at a certain point many just choose to ignore completely. Until something happens to us, we simply do not care.
4. "Speaking of his bout of hepatitis, Farmer told me, "If I get sick, it'll be nearly fatal." He was drawing a contrast between himself and the world's poor. A generous thought, but his habit of disregarding his health seemed like a way of expressing "pragmatic solidarity." Given the responsibilities for other lives he'd taken on, it seemed to me he'd done the opposite." (Page 153) I wonder if Farmer feels body-centered, if he ignores his own body and continues to work does this make his whole life an out of body experience?
5. "Jim once told me, "There have been fundamental frame shifts in human beings feel is morally defensible, what not. The world doesn't bind women's feet anymore, no one believes in slavery. Paul and I are anthropologists. We know that things change all the time. Culture changes all the time. Advertising people force changes in culture all the time. Why can't we do that? People in international health sit back and say, 'Will things change for the better? Who knows? But these Paul Farmers, they'll drop out, and when they do, we stalwarts will be here figuring out the best way to spend two dollars and twenty-seven cents per capita for health care.' " (Page 175) There is a immense amount of problems when it comes to the health system. Those who don't have a voice are represented by people like Farmer and those who do have a voice don't see anything wrong with the system. Yet wealth shouldn't determine the life span of a human being. If it does then our whole lives are based off of selfish behavior.

It makes me feel sick of the amount of Paul Farmer's we have in this world. We are so consumed with our own "problems" that we forget at the drop of a hat the real problems throughout the world. The amount of money a person makes should not place them higher on the spectrum. In a sense they should feel obligated to use the extra money being spent on unnecessary materials towards a more needy cause. I mean we are all here on this planet at the same time trying to make it through each day, why should certain people be labeled better than others? Until you are exposed to the truth you either know it exists and choose to ignore it or figure the way you are is the way everyone else is, and don't bother exploring that theory. Meaning we live day by day, hour by hour never questioning who else is out there. Hence it leads us to problems such as the ones Farmer is dealing with, nations of people who are dying left to right because we decided our time was too precious. This gives us the label of selfish human beings who take advantage of our privileges and instead of spreading the wealth we complain about our minor personal issues. By living this way, we may live more years but how can we feel satisfied thinking the world revolves around us?

HW 22 - Illness & Dying Book Part One

Author: Tracy Kidder

Title: Mountains Beyond Mountains

Publisher: Random House

Year Published: 2003

Precis: Growing up in a quite corky lifestyle, compared to what we like to call the "American Dream", Paul was exposed to a different take on life. Due to the experiences throughout his adolescence a thread was woven, tying together all of the crucial events and combining them to make something much greater. His take on fortune played a key role into his adulthood, shaping his view on helping the less fortunate verses making himself the one in need. (Part I - Part III)

1. "The world is full of miserable places. One way of living comfortably is not to think about them or, when you do, to send money." (Page 8) Money seems to always be our solution, Farmer proves that although money fuels a lot of our needs, patience and motivation is much more important. Farmer makes all of his patients feel as though there is hope, and with some courage their health could improve. Growing up in such a wealthy country we often forget about all of the other people on the planet. There is a huge difference between doing something physically about a problem and making a gesture. Money shouldn't be the key to sleeping better at night.
2. "As Farmer comes in through the gate, dressed in his Haiti clothes-black jeans and a T-shirt-a part of the crowd advances on him. An old man who needs money for food, a woman with a letter she wants him to take to the United States, a young man who has been seen another doctor here but wants to be examined by Farmer and is calling to him..." (Page 20) As Kidder describes it seems as though the Haitians view him as more than just a doctor but as a savior or even a god. They have respect for someone who is willing to help them in any shape or form.
3. "Wild cries erupt from the child: "Li fe-m mal, mwen grangou!" Farmer looks up, and for a moment he's narrating Haiti again. "She's crying, 'It hurts, I'm hungry? Can you believe it? Only in Haiti would a child cry out that she's hungry during a spinal tap." (Page 32) Her priority of food is out shining the current state of what is happening to her body.
4. "Many people waved to him-the lifted hand motionless, the fingers fluctuant, like the legs of insects on their backs. "Do you see how Haitians wave? Don't you love it? You dig?" he said to me, waving back with his fingers." (Page 41) There seems like a huge amount of respect coming from both parties. The tone in Farmer's voice seems to satisfied yet very humble about what he is doing. He obviously is proud of the progress he is making with people who without him probably would be dead.
5. She remembered, "I came back and P.J. was sitting in the driver's seat, holding a letter his father wrote to him when he got into medical school. It said something like, 'I just want you to know how proud I am.' And P.J. was sobbing." After I read this line I almost started crying... There was something very bittersweet about it and it seemed as though Farmer finally had got the reassurance that what he had done was remarkable.

This book unlocks a very different side to medicine. In the United States when we think of illness a lot of us see $$$$, yet Farmer has achieved quite a bit with not very much money at all. It makes you believe that when it comes to sickness we put ourselves higher on a pedestal than the rest of the world. We feel some sort of superiority to being healthy. The relationship that Farmer has with all of his patients is much more personal than most Americans could probably say about their doctors. Farmer went out of his way, up and down the mountains to make sure one of his patients was still taking his medication. Would your doctor do that for you?

HW 21B

To Stephanie: Your post seemed very sincere and posed a number of thoughtful questions. One of your insights that stood out to me was, "Now that I think about it if people didn't have to worry about there death and were always surrounded by people who loved them, there passing would be more peaceful an a lot more relaxing." It seems from your post that you surround yourself with people who love you but do you worry about death? Is there actually a direct link between the two concepts or are we all just as worried as the next person? Keep up the good work!

To Megumi: I really enjoyed the depth of your post and thought you hit some key insights, my favorite one was: "...especially because people naturally just tend to hope or want to believe that something good will happen." I completely agree with you, we would like to think that bad things don't happen to good people. We justify our positive thinking based on good behavior but when it comes down to it, it is all up to your body.

To Jay: You posed some interesting ideas based off of what Beth said, one idea that stood out to me the most was, "At some point they need to maintain a distance and fully remove themselves emotionally. Is it better for a doctor to be cold and calculating or emotionally connected?" It makes you wonder the tolerance a doctor has for sadness. If they are loosing a patient everyday I can't even begin to imagine the range of emotions they must experience. Constantly feeling a sense of mourning, as you said though, do they become immune to death? Do you think out of all of the human beings on this planet they are the least scared to die?

_______________________________________________________________________

Jay M. said...

Your post is not lacking in detail, which is interesting seeing as you werent here. I found this quote to be especially insightful; "I’ve noticed that when someone dies the people they leave behind often feel as though their lives need to stop. They find comfort in hiding from the world verses just living." I hadn't really thought of that in my analysis of Beth's presentation. That people stop living after a death close to them. But you didn't explain why, or why you think. That would have reinforced your point.

Rebecca (Younger) said...

I think it was interesting how you said that people sometimes look at people who have diseases, as instead of being people, just being a sick body and really only caring for their body.

megumi said...

Firstly, thank you for giving me credit. That was very sweet of you. :)

Your post was very clear and organized. I found at least one insightful comment in each paragraph and found your thoughts very deep and made good connections. A line in particular that I liked was, "It does seem sort of strange though how we often become obsessed with the disease within the person, we pull every string to slow down time, to cure them." I strongly agree with that second paragraph and that statement because it's just what people do naturally when their loved ones get ill. We become persistant in making the person live longer, and end up forgetting at times about who they are as an individual.

Sarah L (Older) said...

My aol account for some reason will not post my comment (Carol)

Sarah, I'm glad you have a blog in which to pour out all of your thoughts, wonderings and insights. You are grappling with a very big and pervasive topic...death and dying. An insight I had while reading your blog is that by becoming aware of the reality of death you have become aware, on a deeper level, how precious the gift of life really is. You are developing an awareness and facing the idea of how brief life is in the scheme of things. Your visual of "opening the door" is a good one. Each day we all have to make a decision to open the door to our life and make the best of it. I think you are doing that and becoming a stronger and more mature person because of your awareness.

Steph's personal political view said...

Your 10 thoughts and insights from the talk were very similar to mine if not the same, so I agree with the ideas you chose to put down. Your insights about how Erik continuing his art work till his late stages of illness were very powerful, I agree with your ideas and think you got into depth and really focused on how he didn't let his illness stop him from doing things he enjoyed. Your last couple of questions confused me a bit and I didn't see how they connected, next time you can possibly explain your question and how it connects. Other then that I'm looking forward to your next post.

HW 21 - Excerpt One

Firstly I want to thank Megumi and Raven for lending me their notes so I could complete this assignment. Through their interpretations of what Beth said I was able to feel as though I was there.

1. Erik decided not to seek medical treatment when he began to feel ill. Beth feels that this is common among the male gender.
2. When we are ill or dying we shouldn’t stop doing what we love. Erik continued to create art regardless of the circumstances.
3. Cancer is a disease not a person.
4. Even though the state of dying is apparent, the word death should not be mentioned. Erik wanted to ignore the state he was in.
5. Through the support of her family Beth was able to have quality time with Erik, neither of them knew when the last moment was going to happen but the moments she spent with him were the happiest days of her life.
6. Buddhism intertwined with Erik’s death, Beth found comfort in religion, the ideas shared with her gave her insight into what to expect in the last days.
7. Death is inevitable, we should live each day as though it is our last and we should never pass up the opportunity to tell someone how we feel about them.
8. “Uncharted Waters”, no one has any idea of exactly what is going to happen once our hearts stop beating.
9. When Erik “let go” there was stillness in the room, and stillness in his body.
10. When the moment happens we should be surrounded by someone we love, who can continue to hold our hand once we are gone.

I found it very inspiring that although Erik was very ill he did not waste any time, through his art he continued to express himself. I’ve noticed that when someone dies the people they leave behind often feel as though their lives need to stop. They find comfort in hiding from the world verses just living. However, I am sure the people who left this universe wouldn’t want their family and friends to hide. By Erik continuing to create what he loved it seemed as if it was a silent sign for all of the people in his life to follow in his footsteps. I am one of those people who a lot of the time would rather hide then just face the world. I know those who have left me wouldn’t want this but loosing someone makes you scared. As much as dying is scary it seems like when you are actually going through it you become content with the idea. By finding peace with it you let yourself just live. So instead of waiting for the signs of the end we need to learn how to make every moment worth it, even if sometimes we feel scared.

Our society seems to pity those who are sick, we loose touch with them as people and circulate our thoughts around what is happening with their bodies. Beth didn’t want people to see Erik as cancer but to continue to see him as who he always was. I think it is very difficult to ignore the current state of a person; it is only human to worry and wonder what is going to happen next. It does seem sort of strange though how we often become obsessed with the disease within the person, we pull every string to slow down time, to cure them. Although Beth and Erik tried all of the treatments available it seems at a certain point the value of the moments they had were more important. Personally I never realized my Grandma was dying. My entire life my Grandma had always had diabetes. So for me the disease didn’t reflect who she was as a person. In the past ten years though she was frequently in and out of the hospital. Constantly going to the doctor, taking way too many pills a day, to slow down time for those around her. At a certain point though I think she realized this routine was too much and so she let go. Looking back I realize why so many of my family members were constantly worrying about my Grandma, from what she ate to making sure all of her medication was taken, they saw her as diabetes and the person she was once was became more of a memory. What is interesting though is that I don’t think the disease took over my Grandma completely, under all of the circumstances she continued to live her life. I think she recognized that although some people were obsessed many people saw her as they always had.

For the most part we all go through the same problems. I guess you can interpret that as comforting or bizarre. Through our similarities though we have plenty of options to confide in all of those around us. However, we must be willing to reach out for a hand, and by doing this we have better luck of moving forward. By listening to others we can understand our own problems through other lenses. By telling our stories we become more comfortable with the idea that lies within our words. It’s okay to be scared and want to hide because at one point or another we will all be in that state but it is up to us to find courage to open the door. By opening the door we can further the learning and exploring the things we love most and not waste our time wondering and worrying what may or may not come next.

HW 19 - Family Perspectives on Illness & Dying

I've recently noticed how often my mother suggests aspirin to solve all of my problems. I'll complain about an ache and her immediate question is usually, did you take aspirin? It never struck me as an odd solution until we began this unit. This morning I walked into my kitchen and asked her why she always has the same response to all of my physical problems. She began to explain to me that within one aspirin lies the ancient healing of many culture's before us. She said that there is a relation between aspirin and tree bark. So although in my mind it seems that a doctor would suggest taking this pill in her mind it is a very natural solution.

After hearing this unexpected response from my mother I decided to follow up with my Dad to see if he had similar thoughts on aspirin. Surprisingly he did. He explained to me that this way of healing our aches is a very ancient technique. He said that supposedly aspirin is in fact very good for your heart. He continued to explain how most of the modern medicines in our society come from natural resources. I began to wonder if pharmaceutical drugs came from natural resources as well. If they did then why do these drugs have so many side affects. You would think that exposure to the things around us wouldn't affect so many people so negatively.

After my Dad and I finished discussing medicine I asked him his thoughts on death. He bluntly stated that it is inevitable. Life is death, at the end of it all there is no way of getting around it even with all of the medication we have today. He didn't seem scared or worried about death but treated it as just another bridge in life.

Then I started going on about how I don't understand how we treat life so sacredly but have no problem ending the lives of other species who are also just as alive as we are, if not more. If a person is killed by another person it strikes us as unbelievable. However if a person kills an animal it strikes us as completely normal. Then my Dad suggested the idea that if a person is attacked by an animal our entire society seems to find out about the incident. What we classify as acceptable puts us right into a social hierarchy that basically states how much worth our lives have.

Although we know quite a bit about the species around us there is a lot of information that is a mystery. Life spans are one of these mysteries. My Dad and I began talking about how interesting it is that a dogs perception of time is so much longer than our own. Some insects only will live for a day. While turtles can live for over a hundred years. Survival plays a key role and we began to discuss how we have discovered and created time stoppers. Methods and techniques to expand our time on earth, we wonder though do animals and insects have the same ability we do? Have they come to understand the affects of tree bark? Why do humans go against the natural cycle of life instead of just letting nature take its course?

HW 18 - Health & Illness & Feasting

Traditionally like every year I walked into my aunts apartment just as the sun was setting. My mother and I immediately offered our assistance for last minute preparation before the dinner started. My father walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. As soon as I realized that my help was not needed I joined my Dad. We sat there sprawled out on the couch waiting for the rest of our family to arrive. There was a moment of stillness and silence. The doorbell ran, Lucy my aunt’s dog started barking. My Dad and I sat up immediately, we didn’t want to appear too relaxed to the rest of our family.

I could feel and hear my stomach growling. I decided to not eat very much during the day since I knew I was going to be eating too much for dinner. We all sat in our uniformly alike chairs, with uniformly alike place settings. My mother scolded me for beginning to eat before everyone else was seated. My cousin walked to the table telling everyone how she wore pants too big for her so once her stomach expanded she wouldn’t have excess skin hanging out. As soon as she was seated my aunt started to make a toast. She mentioned how fortunate our family was and to recognize and remember all of those who weren’t at the table. We all clinked glasses and began to eat.

With my family food is like the background white noise. It seems at every meal spent together there is some sort of debate about an issue affecting us, and regardless of the subject it takes over the entire meal. This evening’s discussion was about Cathie Black the new head of the department of education. Many members of my family do not see eye to eye when it comes to education. Part of my family strongly believes in the private institution of education while the other part believes fully in public education. Voices are raised and instead of it being a civilized discussion it usually turns into an argument.

Once the turkey had been devoured and dessert was on the table, we went around the table saying what we were thankful for. I found this sort of strange and awkward. I didn’t really want to say what I was thankful for in front of my whole family. People started crying and once the last person spoke we went back to eating. I kept thinking about the real reason behind thanksgiving. Why were we honoring our own lives? Shouldn’t we be honoring those who were actually affected by this day? Throughout the whole meal it seemed like a number of people at the table were trying to attract so much attention, attempting to center the conversation revolving around them.

I left my aunt’s feeling stuffed and confused. Why is this day so important? Why is there always so much arguing? It feels like such a waste of energy and time. I thought about my Grandmother and her missing presence. I thought about how my cousin’s boyfriend was crying at the table, since he just underwent surgery. My aunt talked about how fortunate we were but no one mentioned anything about the food. If we had decided to not have this meal though we would have felt socially unacceptable. Weird.

How It Ends - DeVotchKa

Hold your grandmother's bible to your breast

Gonna put it to the test

You wanted to be blessed

And in your heart you know it to be true

You know what you gotta do

They all depend on you

And you already know

Yeah, you already know how this will end

There is no escape from the slave catcher's songs

For all of the loved ones gone

Forever's not so long

And in your soul they poked a million holes

But you never let em show

Come on, it's time to go

And you already know

Yeah, you already know how this will end

Now you've seen his face

And you know that there's a place in the sun

For all that you've done

For you and your children

No longer shall you need

You always wanted to believe

Just ask and you'll receive

Beyond your wildest dreams

And you already know

Yeah, you already know how this will end.

HW 17 - First Thoughts on the Illness & Dying Unit

I remember the day she died. I sat down on the couch in my living room; the expression on my parent’s faces worried me. At first I thought I was in trouble, they looked so upset. Hearing the words out loud seemed so strange. All I could think about was running through the wild flowers. Swimming in the summer time. Screaming at each other because we didn’t want to hold Kong the scary pit bull who was the neighbors dog, and then laughing so hard when he wouldn’t stop licking us. I started crying, how could she be dead? Gone forever and ever. I felt empty and scared; she was only a few years older than me. She wasn’t sick; she was healthy and full of life. In an instant she was gone, one wrong move and that was it.

We both sat in our pajama’s eating our cereal. I looked outside the window; it was snowing, coming down hard and fast. I looked at my Grandma and smiled, she said, “ I don’t understand why I am still here…” I was caught off guard by her blunt remark, never had I heard these words uttered from another human being directly to me. I reassured her that she was here for a reason. We continued munching on our cereal, and I forgot about what she had said. That afternoon as we backed out of my Grandmothers driveway, I watched her wave goodbye. It reminded me of what she had said to me earlier that morning. I thought to myself, what if grandma does die? Then I concluded that it would probably be a while before that would actually happen. This past summer we sat eating lunch; I was admiring her flowers. Suddenly she said to me, “I miss Grandpa, I don’t understand why I am still here.” Once again I reassured her that she was here for a purpose. This time as we backed out of the driveway, she waved at us. I thought to myself, what if grandma is dying? This was the last time I saw my Grandmother alive.

Six months ago if I was asked: What is illness and dying? , I would not be able to tell you. I would probably give a simple answer such as suffering, pain or sorrow. Although those are definitely elements of the topic, it gives us the idea that it is so simplistic. However until you experience first hand the effects of illness and dying the general idea does seem quite simple. So simple that we try our hardest to avoid questioning it.

Grieving is a strange process. It isn't just crying or feeling sad. It comes in waves. After my childhood friend died I was scared of the world. The way she left wasn't normal, it had nothing to do with illness. The earth had a flaw that in a chain reaction killed her. I didn't and still don't understand why this happened to her. I don't feel like she is really gone, it doesn't seem possible. It is the same feeling with my Grandmother. Although she had lived a long life the momentum building up to her death was my whole life. I never knew my Grandmother when she was not sick with something. So when she went into the hospital the last time we all figured she would bounce back again. But she didn't. Loosing people makes you loose faith in the world. Although we all know it happens to everyone, we aren't prepared for the event to actually happen. It comes as a shock that it really does happen. It makes you feel empty, you breathe in and literally feel nothing. The emotions that come along with death are unavoidable and our minds are unprepared.

After my childhood friend died I went to the park constantly. I kept seeing blue jays. I never see blue jays. The day my Grandmother died I was walking in the park with my Dad and we saw a red cardinal. I never see red cardinal's. I knew once I saw the bird that this was the day. Six hours later she died. Last weekend we saw a red cardinal again. The idea of dying is so complex and I think we look for signs, possible recognition that wherever they are, they are okay.

HW 12 - Final Food Project Two: Outline

Thesis: An individual living in our culture must recognize and respond to the nightmarish industrial atrocities at the root of dominant social practices in order to live a morally satisfactory life.

Major Claim: By not knowing or questioning where our food comes from, what conditions it comes from or whom it comes from we will continue to live in a world of illusion.

Supporting Claim One: Don't judge a book by it's cover, especially when it comes to food. People in the United States for the most part have decided if it looks "normal", tastes "normal" then it probably is "normal." However in order to fully understand how far from "normal" our food is we must find the root of where it is first brought into the world.

Evidence: A large amount of our food has had hormones injected and been covered in pesticides. (1,2,3)

Evidence: No longer are animals raised in farms for the most part, the new term is a feed lot. (1,2,3)

Evidence: The farmers growing the food are in debt and not treated equally. (2)

Evidence: Many products that claim they are better for you are actually owned by companies we associate to be unhealthy. (2,6)

Evidence: Major leaders and politicians in our countries government have some linkage to big food corporations. (2,5)

Supporting Claim Two: Many individuals have recognized the problem in our food system and found alternative ways of living and leading a healthier lifestyle. Instead of altering evolution they have decided to live by natural evolution.

Evidence: Polyface Farms. (1,2)

Evidence: Farmer's Markets. (1)

Evidence: Gathering and hunting your own food. (1)

Evidence: Instead of constantly eating at fast food restaurants, cooking food at home, knowing what is in your food. (1)

Evidence: Kevin's Law (2)

Evidence: Becoming vegetarian or vegan. (1,2)

Citations:

1. Pollan, Michael. The Omnivore's Dilemma: a Natural History of Four Meals. New York: Penguin, 2006. Print.

2. Food Inc. 2008. Film.

3. Our Daily Bread. 2005. Film. Geyrhalter .

4. Dargis, By Manohla. "Movie Review - Our Daily Bread - What’s for Dinner? You Don’t Want to Know - NYTimes.com." Movie Reviews, Showtimes and Trailers - Movies - New York Times - The New York Times. 24 Nov. 2006. Web. 31 Oct. 2010. .

5. "Monsanto Buys ‘Terminator’ Seeds Company." GlobalResearch.ca - Centre for Research on Globalization. Web. 31 Oct. 2010. .

6. "Stonyfield Farm." Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Web. 31 Oct. 2010. .