HW 18 - Health & Illness & Feasting

Traditionally like every year I walked into my aunts apartment just as the sun was setting. My mother and I immediately offered our assistance for last minute preparation before the dinner started. My father walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. As soon as I realized that my help was not needed I joined my Dad. We sat there sprawled out on the couch waiting for the rest of our family to arrive. There was a moment of stillness and silence. The doorbell ran, Lucy my aunt’s dog started barking. My Dad and I sat up immediately, we didn’t want to appear too relaxed to the rest of our family.

I could feel and hear my stomach growling. I decided to not eat very much during the day since I knew I was going to be eating too much for dinner. We all sat in our uniformly alike chairs, with uniformly alike place settings. My mother scolded me for beginning to eat before everyone else was seated. My cousin walked to the table telling everyone how she wore pants too big for her so once her stomach expanded she wouldn’t have excess skin hanging out. As soon as she was seated my aunt started to make a toast. She mentioned how fortunate our family was and to recognize and remember all of those who weren’t at the table. We all clinked glasses and began to eat.

With my family food is like the background white noise. It seems at every meal spent together there is some sort of debate about an issue affecting us, and regardless of the subject it takes over the entire meal. This evening’s discussion was about Cathie Black the new head of the department of education. Many members of my family do not see eye to eye when it comes to education. Part of my family strongly believes in the private institution of education while the other part believes fully in public education. Voices are raised and instead of it being a civilized discussion it usually turns into an argument.

Once the turkey had been devoured and dessert was on the table, we went around the table saying what we were thankful for. I found this sort of strange and awkward. I didn’t really want to say what I was thankful for in front of my whole family. People started crying and once the last person spoke we went back to eating. I kept thinking about the real reason behind thanksgiving. Why were we honoring our own lives? Shouldn’t we be honoring those who were actually affected by this day? Throughout the whole meal it seemed like a number of people at the table were trying to attract so much attention, attempting to center the conversation revolving around them.

I left my aunt’s feeling stuffed and confused. Why is this day so important? Why is there always so much arguing? It feels like such a waste of energy and time. I thought about my Grandmother and her missing presence. I thought about how my cousin’s boyfriend was crying at the table, since he just underwent surgery. My aunt talked about how fortunate we were but no one mentioned anything about the food. If we had decided to not have this meal though we would have felt socially unacceptable. Weird.

How It Ends - DeVotchKa

Hold your grandmother's bible to your breast

Gonna put it to the test

You wanted to be blessed

And in your heart you know it to be true

You know what you gotta do

They all depend on you

And you already know

Yeah, you already know how this will end

There is no escape from the slave catcher's songs

For all of the loved ones gone

Forever's not so long

And in your soul they poked a million holes

But you never let em show

Come on, it's time to go

And you already know

Yeah, you already know how this will end

Now you've seen his face

And you know that there's a place in the sun

For all that you've done

For you and your children

No longer shall you need

You always wanted to believe

Just ask and you'll receive

Beyond your wildest dreams

And you already know

Yeah, you already know how this will end.