HW 18 - Health & Illness & Feasting

Traditionally like every year I walked into my aunts apartment just as the sun was setting. My mother and I immediately offered our assistance for last minute preparation before the dinner started. My father walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. As soon as I realized that my help was not needed I joined my Dad. We sat there sprawled out on the couch waiting for the rest of our family to arrive. There was a moment of stillness and silence. The doorbell ran, Lucy my aunt’s dog started barking. My Dad and I sat up immediately, we didn’t want to appear too relaxed to the rest of our family.

I could feel and hear my stomach growling. I decided to not eat very much during the day since I knew I was going to be eating too much for dinner. We all sat in our uniformly alike chairs, with uniformly alike place settings. My mother scolded me for beginning to eat before everyone else was seated. My cousin walked to the table telling everyone how she wore pants too big for her so once her stomach expanded she wouldn’t have excess skin hanging out. As soon as she was seated my aunt started to make a toast. She mentioned how fortunate our family was and to recognize and remember all of those who weren’t at the table. We all clinked glasses and began to eat.

With my family food is like the background white noise. It seems at every meal spent together there is some sort of debate about an issue affecting us, and regardless of the subject it takes over the entire meal. This evening’s discussion was about Cathie Black the new head of the department of education. Many members of my family do not see eye to eye when it comes to education. Part of my family strongly believes in the private institution of education while the other part believes fully in public education. Voices are raised and instead of it being a civilized discussion it usually turns into an argument.

Once the turkey had been devoured and dessert was on the table, we went around the table saying what we were thankful for. I found this sort of strange and awkward. I didn’t really want to say what I was thankful for in front of my whole family. People started crying and once the last person spoke we went back to eating. I kept thinking about the real reason behind thanksgiving. Why were we honoring our own lives? Shouldn’t we be honoring those who were actually affected by this day? Throughout the whole meal it seemed like a number of people at the table were trying to attract so much attention, attempting to center the conversation revolving around them.

I left my aunt’s feeling stuffed and confused. Why is this day so important? Why is there always so much arguing? It feels like such a waste of energy and time. I thought about my Grandmother and her missing presence. I thought about how my cousin’s boyfriend was crying at the table, since he just underwent surgery. My aunt talked about how fortunate we were but no one mentioned anything about the food. If we had decided to not have this meal though we would have felt socially unacceptable. Weird.

How It Ends - DeVotchKa

Hold your grandmother's bible to your breast

Gonna put it to the test

You wanted to be blessed

And in your heart you know it to be true

You know what you gotta do

They all depend on you

And you already know

Yeah, you already know how this will end

There is no escape from the slave catcher's songs

For all of the loved ones gone

Forever's not so long

And in your soul they poked a million holes

But you never let em show

Come on, it's time to go

And you already know

Yeah, you already know how this will end

Now you've seen his face

And you know that there's a place in the sun

For all that you've done

For you and your children

No longer shall you need

You always wanted to believe

Just ask and you'll receive

Beyond your wildest dreams

And you already know

Yeah, you already know how this will end.

HW 17 - First Thoughts on the Illness & Dying Unit

I remember the day she died. I sat down on the couch in my living room; the expression on my parent’s faces worried me. At first I thought I was in trouble, they looked so upset. Hearing the words out loud seemed so strange. All I could think about was running through the wild flowers. Swimming in the summer time. Screaming at each other because we didn’t want to hold Kong the scary pit bull who was the neighbors dog, and then laughing so hard when he wouldn’t stop licking us. I started crying, how could she be dead? Gone forever and ever. I felt empty and scared; she was only a few years older than me. She wasn’t sick; she was healthy and full of life. In an instant she was gone, one wrong move and that was it.

We both sat in our pajama’s eating our cereal. I looked outside the window; it was snowing, coming down hard and fast. I looked at my Grandma and smiled, she said, “ I don’t understand why I am still here…” I was caught off guard by her blunt remark, never had I heard these words uttered from another human being directly to me. I reassured her that she was here for a reason. We continued munching on our cereal, and I forgot about what she had said. That afternoon as we backed out of my Grandmothers driveway, I watched her wave goodbye. It reminded me of what she had said to me earlier that morning. I thought to myself, what if grandma does die? Then I concluded that it would probably be a while before that would actually happen. This past summer we sat eating lunch; I was admiring her flowers. Suddenly she said to me, “I miss Grandpa, I don’t understand why I am still here.” Once again I reassured her that she was here for a purpose. This time as we backed out of the driveway, she waved at us. I thought to myself, what if grandma is dying? This was the last time I saw my Grandmother alive.

Six months ago if I was asked: What is illness and dying? , I would not be able to tell you. I would probably give a simple answer such as suffering, pain or sorrow. Although those are definitely elements of the topic, it gives us the idea that it is so simplistic. However until you experience first hand the effects of illness and dying the general idea does seem quite simple. So simple that we try our hardest to avoid questioning it.

Grieving is a strange process. It isn't just crying or feeling sad. It comes in waves. After my childhood friend died I was scared of the world. The way she left wasn't normal, it had nothing to do with illness. The earth had a flaw that in a chain reaction killed her. I didn't and still don't understand why this happened to her. I don't feel like she is really gone, it doesn't seem possible. It is the same feeling with my Grandmother. Although she had lived a long life the momentum building up to her death was my whole life. I never knew my Grandmother when she was not sick with something. So when she went into the hospital the last time we all figured she would bounce back again. But she didn't. Loosing people makes you loose faith in the world. Although we all know it happens to everyone, we aren't prepared for the event to actually happen. It comes as a shock that it really does happen. It makes you feel empty, you breathe in and literally feel nothing. The emotions that come along with death are unavoidable and our minds are unprepared.

After my childhood friend died I went to the park constantly. I kept seeing blue jays. I never see blue jays. The day my Grandmother died I was walking in the park with my Dad and we saw a red cardinal. I never see red cardinal's. I knew once I saw the bird that this was the day. Six hours later she died. Last weekend we saw a red cardinal again. The idea of dying is so complex and I think we look for signs, possible recognition that wherever they are, they are okay.

HW 12 - Final Food Project Two: Outline

Thesis: An individual living in our culture must recognize and respond to the nightmarish industrial atrocities at the root of dominant social practices in order to live a morally satisfactory life.

Major Claim: By not knowing or questioning where our food comes from, what conditions it comes from or whom it comes from we will continue to live in a world of illusion.

Supporting Claim One: Don't judge a book by it's cover, especially when it comes to food. People in the United States for the most part have decided if it looks "normal", tastes "normal" then it probably is "normal." However in order to fully understand how far from "normal" our food is we must find the root of where it is first brought into the world.

Evidence: A large amount of our food has had hormones injected and been covered in pesticides. (1,2,3)

Evidence: No longer are animals raised in farms for the most part, the new term is a feed lot. (1,2,3)

Evidence: The farmers growing the food are in debt and not treated equally. (2)

Evidence: Many products that claim they are better for you are actually owned by companies we associate to be unhealthy. (2,6)

Evidence: Major leaders and politicians in our countries government have some linkage to big food corporations. (2,5)

Supporting Claim Two: Many individuals have recognized the problem in our food system and found alternative ways of living and leading a healthier lifestyle. Instead of altering evolution they have decided to live by natural evolution.

Evidence: Polyface Farms. (1,2)

Evidence: Farmer's Markets. (1)

Evidence: Gathering and hunting your own food. (1)

Evidence: Instead of constantly eating at fast food restaurants, cooking food at home, knowing what is in your food. (1)

Evidence: Kevin's Law (2)

Evidence: Becoming vegetarian or vegan. (1,2)

Citations:

1. Pollan, Michael. The Omnivore's Dilemma: a Natural History of Four Meals. New York: Penguin, 2006. Print.

2. Food Inc. 2008. Film.

3. Our Daily Bread. 2005. Film. Geyrhalter .

4. Dargis, By Manohla. "Movie Review - Our Daily Bread - What’s for Dinner? You Don’t Want to Know - NYTimes.com." Movie Reviews, Showtimes and Trailers - Movies - New York Times - The New York Times. 24 Nov. 2006. Web. 31 Oct. 2010. .

5. "Monsanto Buys ‘Terminator’ Seeds Company." GlobalResearch.ca - Centre for Research on Globalization. Web. 31 Oct. 2010. .

6. "Stonyfield Farm." Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Web. 31 Oct. 2010. .