A lost his sister ten months ago. She wasn’t sick, she wasn’t old, she was quite the opposite very healthy and full of life. Her death came both as a surprise and I think to many a wake up call about how sacred the gift of life truly is. A said it was so hard sitting on the plane to New Zealand, not knowing what was going to happen and having absolutely no control over the outcome. He sat by her side in the hospital and yet the girl that was in front of him hardly looked like the sister he had known. She was hooked up to life support and her body was bruised, but amidst all of her injuries he said she had never looked so beautiful. A said speaking at her funeral wasn’t as hard as he had anticipated because he felt her energy all around the room, through her friends, family and even those who only knew her briefly, she was there, somewhere. He knew the hardest part was going to be missing her, and not ever facing her again. Everyday he thinks of his sister, she is everywhere he says, and so even though physically he may not be able to see her, spiritually he knows her soul hasn’t died. A ended by saying, caring for the dead doesn’t stop when the funeral is over, she will always remain apart of me and the world that surrounds me.
B lost her grandfather four years ago. He was diagnosed with cancer and ten days after being diagnosed he died in the hospital. She said that it literally happened so quickly that it took weeks for it to truly sink in. B didn’t recognize her grandfather at his wake, he didn’t look like the man she knew and loved, the emotions of sadness and pain took over her body. However, she found the funeral home to be quite nice due to the fact that she had been there before, so there was a great sense of familiarity. The words her own father recited at her grandfather’s funeral made her feel depressed, she couldn’t control her tears and felt a deep sense of emptiness. Before her grandfather had died he had asked to be buried along side of his wife, of her grandmother. B remembers driving to her grandfathers hometown, to this graveyard and watching her grandfathers casket be lowered into the ground so he could be next to the women he loved. B ironically visited her grandfathers and grandmothers gravestone yesterday. She said that she visits as much as she can because she finds it nice being able to be close to part of her grandparents. She ended by saying she will always care for them as she continues to live her own life.
C hasn’t lost anyone. She however knows exactly what she wants to happen once she is gone. She doesn’t want her funeral to be all sadness, she wants people to have their emotions but when it comes down to it she wants people to celebrate her life. Although she is only sixteen she knows at this point that she would like to be cremated. She said that being under the ground creeps her out and would prevent her from continuing her motion. She thinks that when someone is under the ground they are trapped and have no opportunity to wander around the world. However she thinks if someone is cremated parts of them are floating all over, with the wind, through the ocean and circling all those who still remain alive. She isn’t sure what to expect exactly when someone she knows will die. She imagines that the way the media interprets it isn’t completely on line with what actually happens. She hopes though that when it does happen she will be able to be strong and not feel as though her very own life is ending.
D lost his grandmother five years ago. She was sick with cancer and after a long fight passed away. D lives in France; his grandmother had a funeral and then was buried. He said he had never seen a funeral take place in the United States but he imagines that for the most part they are pretty much the same. Surprisingly he didn’t know what a wake was, and after explaining to him the basic idea of it, he then responded very freaked out and didn't know why people would want to come look at a body no longer breathing. He doesn’t think the care of the dead stops when the funeral is over; he thinks that in many ways the care becomes even greater. He thought his grandmother’s funeral was completely appropriate and wouldn’t have changed it in the least bit. However, he personally doesn’t want to be buried in a cemetery, he isn’t sure where he wants his ashes to be spread but knows that over his lifetime he will find a place.
E lost her uncle two years ago. He had a heart attack in his sleep it was unexpected and shocking. She felt over all emotions distressed. Her uncle had a wake but didn’t have a funeral. Then she told me he was actually cremated. She wouldn’t explain why this was the case but it seemed very unusual. She said when her family spread his ashes she felt as though he was being set free. She wouldn’t have changed the way her family approached his death, she thinks it’s what he would of wanted. However, she thinks that the USA should alter how as a country death is approached; she said it’s very expensive and financially straining for most Americans. She said loosing someone is hard enough, why is it so expensive? Unlike all of the other interviews she was the only one who said that the care of the dead stops at the funeral. The care of the family may not stop but she feels as though there is a lack of respect towards cemeteries.
Generally I think all of the teens I interviewed had similar ideas on the care of the dead. At this point in time most of us have not had too much exposure to death, and for those who have it makes things even more confusing. I think most people feel as though caring for the dead is a process much longer than people paying their respects, sitting through the funeral and watching this body that once used to be alive turn into almost a symbol. I think there is a strong similarity between how most teens approach death, they understand that it is going to have an impact on ones life and that the best thing you can do is to have your emotions and know the feeling of complete sadness won't last forever. I think most people in the United States have very similar death stories, this country has a very established cliche of how death should be handled. There are automatic places that people go to when someone has passed away, funeral homes, religious places of gathering, cemeteries and the place where ones ashes were spread. This caring seems to be a connection or even a tie that brings people together, and I think at the end of the day most people can agree that death isn't pleasant. However I agree with interviewee E it is very expensive and most of the costs are so unnecessary, I think the steps most people take when approaching death are fine but I think the price tag needs to be as high as it is. So i'll end with this, do people pay such large amounts of money to continue to show that they care? Or are they really just following the "normal" steps that everyone else around them is doing?
