HW 36 - Pregnancy & Birth Stories

As Benjamin Disraeli once said, “We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end.” Human existence relies on the hope that each one of us will find a mate to continue the cycle. After interviewing three people who have experienced birth and pregnancy, an obvious connection between them is that they all seem to be following the social norm society sets up; a set path of, “soul mate”, marriage, baby and death. It poses as sort of strange that most of us will or have followed a similar route.

My first interviewee explained to me that she felt as though she were a different person, someone who no longer could physically hold her emotions inside for they had become a part of the surface. No matter what mood she was in, one could always tell exactly how she was feeling. Although she took good care of herself and avoided foods that were exposed to flame since they caused her to feel nauseous, she couldn’t avoid the weight gain. She went by the books, attending pre-natal exercise classes, seeing an obstetrician regularly and even took part in a Lamaze class, where she learned how to give birth naturally without drugs. She then explained to me that after months of preparing for her natural birth, complications from the baby prevented it from happening. She was upset that a sea section would have to be performed on her but knew that it was the only solution to bringing her baby safely into the world. She had hoped her whole life that she would have a child but knew that it needed to be with the right person. Throughout her pregnancy she felt anticipation, excitement, fear of the unknown and pure joy.

Listening to this person speak about their experience confirmed my initial thoughts on birth. Although we have a sense of what it is going to be like, we truly don’t know exactly what is going to happen until the moment it does. The fact that she had to have a sea section made me understand how birth has advanced so much. In history women and babies died all the time from complications, she prepared for a birth more similar to those of history and yet due to conflict had to resort to the more dominant manor of going about.

The second person I interviewed was very similar to the first. She went up in shoe size, experienced stretch marks and gained a lot of weight. She also took part in Lamaze classes and successfully gave birth naturally. She explained that before she was pregnant drinking was very much a part of her social life and it was difficult to have to stop drinking. However she joked that being pregnant made her feel like a queen, anything she wished for was someone else’s command. She made it very clear that if she hadn’t had such a supportive family she wouldn’t of made it through the pregnancy. She advised me to consider my financial circumstances before deciding to have a baby, although her pregnancy wasn’t planned she felt responsible enough to be able to provide for it. Since she had a natural birth, she felt all of the pain but it was amazing to see her very own child.

After hearing a very similar story to my first interviewee it made me wonder if subconsciously we set up the type of image we want to be seen as a pregnant person. If through our choices we connect the dots to make one sort of person. It then made me think about the stereotypical types of pregnant people floating around our society. The teenage mom, the Zen mom, the older mom, when and how we give birth seems to make more of a statement than the birth itself.

For my final interview I decided it was probably a good idea to hear a story from the opposite gender. Surprisingly he felt many of the same emotions that the women did, very proud and excited but a little bit anxious. Although physically he wasn’t affected he could empathize with his wife. He expressed that while she was going through the pregnancy everyone around him was very excited and happy for both of them, people were constantly asking about the development of the baby and were both concerned and curious. He found the moment of birth to be exciting and amazing that another creature could be brought into the world.

Emotions seem to be quite similar for both male and female during pregnancy. However it seems as though the female has more say in how she will spend the nine months. It seems like besides giving their mate full on support and comfort there really isn’t much for the man to do. He is there for her every need, from food to foot massages, physically speaking though he isn’t affected in the least bit. Yet part of me thinks the way the two people interact throughout the pregnancy in many ways does affect the physical aspects of both.

What are the pros and cons of having a natural birth? Are you setting yourself up for risk, would it just be safer to take drugs?

HW 35 - Other Peoples' Perspectives 1

I came home this evening smelling like baby spit and an endless amount of tears. The six month old that I sit for has just begun teething and isn't handling it too well. It's always a big battle between us, we both know when he is going to cry and prepare ourselves for the moment. I start singing and bouncing around the room, he adjusts his head to watch himself in the mirror. It’s kind of remarkable how two individuals without communication know exactly what is going on. As he finally began to fall asleep he starred deeply in my eyes, and I thought to myself how great it would be to be able to interview him. His memories of the womb were fresh and he probably knows exactly what his grand entrance felt like. I began to think about the irony in the idea behind interviewing someone our own age, someone who has neither given birth or has experienced being born recently. It got me thinking about how little we know at our current stage and how a six month old probably knows more.

After interviewing three of my friends they all seemed quite naïve about the subject of birth. I find it kind of ironic that all three of these girls want to have babies and yet know so little about it. It’s like if you decided to buy a car and knew nothing about how it worked until you had signed the papers and were in the drivers seat. I know a baby and a car are not at the same level but it still does pose as sort of strange. I am very curious about how a baby knows when it’s time to say hello… I decided to ask my friends to see if they had any knowledge on the question. My friend K.B. said, “They don’t, there are certain stages in a human and the first stage is called the sensory motor stage. The most they know is who their mom is, but they aren’t aware of actual existence or their own existence, so there is no way that they know when to come out.” I decided to look up what exactly sensory motor stage was and found that it happens when the baby is already out of the womb. Then I asked my friend E.R. the same question, she said, “Babies know when to come out of the womb when they are ready to come out of the birth canal, which usually occurs at about nine months.” Her understanding seemed about the same as mine and so I asked my friend R,F., “Honestly, I have no idea. Scientifically, babies are expected to come out of the womb approximately 9 months after conception. Spiritually, I know that some people believe G*d "tells" the baby the time to be born. Although I am not exceptionally religious, I believe babies know to come out after 9 months because we as humans are designed that way, so perhaps there is some sort of greater force delegating these things.” I decided my best bet was to look it up myself… Surprisingly enough there was hardly any information on Google except for websites like answers.com… I found a website called kgb answers which said, “When the placenta can no longer feed the baby, the mother's body releases oxytocin, a hormone, which causes contractions and soften the tissue of the cervix.” Considering the little I know about birth this seemed like the most logical answer I could find.

At a more intellectual level of birth I wonder if the baby I sit for is even truly living at this point. Most of us come in and out the same way. Someone else feeds us, someone else changes us and we cry hoping for the comfort of someone else. Is this really living or are we merely waiting for beginnings and endings? I posed the question to my friends, K.B. said, “When we experience adrenaline, whether it’s on a rollercoaster or we just performed a play, essentially when we reach that level of excitement. I think we are living but until that moment we aren’t alive.” I wondered though what if a person never rode a rollercoaster or performed a play, would that mean they went their whole life without actually living? However my friend R.F. felt the complete opposite, “I think we truly become alive the moment we begin breathing after being born, because alive does technically mean living, not dead, breathing, etc. There are a great many things people do to feel alive, myself included, but I don't think one is not truly "alive" before experiencing them.” Defining life by a scientific variable seemed sort of odd to me as well. E.R. responded by saying, “One is truly alive the moment they begin to develop in the womb. Scientifically, when a mother is pregnant she is no longer just responsible for her own health, yet is responsible for the health of her child who lives off her nutrients.” I found it interesting that all three of them thought life began at very different stages. It made me realize that a question such as this one is honestly defined by each individual, for the moment we decide to become alive, will be the moment we start to truly live.

HW 34 - Initial Thoughts on Birth

Mentally I don't think we are ready for birth. We've seen it in the movies, we have heard our share of stories but in reality we don't know exactly what is going to happen. It makes me wonder if preparing for birth is really necessary? Would it be better to just go with the flow, let nature take it's course? This idea led me to think about how a baby knows when it is ready to make its first appearance. The difference between a premature baby and a "normal" baby. Do babies have thoughts in the womb? How do they pass the time? Are they nearly in a unconscious state for nine months? Society focuses so much attention on what happens after but yet hardly is there ever discussion about who we were before.

How do our minds and spirits become attached to our physical bodies? Are they always a package deal or do they grow progressively throughout our initial hibernation? Once the baby leaves the warm inside do they feel equal amount of pain in comparison to the mother? Beneath all of our memories does this one exist? Are birthing classes really just another excuse to make money? In so many other societies girls give birth at very young ages but in our country teenage pregnancy is strongly frowned upon. Doesn't it seem strange that MTV chooses to document and exploit examples of who our culture stigmatizes?

1. Why does a "normal" pregnancy last nine months?
2. What are the advantages and disadvantages of an at home birth?
3. Is it painful to be born from the babies perspective?
4. What triggers premature pregnancy?