Extra Credit

“I wish we could start it all over again, it doesn’t go on forever.” She said softly to my mother. She seemed hesitant and completely lucid of her thoughts. I sat there looking around at all of her friends, filling what was now her home. I looked at her, she had a puzzled face. She turned to me, “I don’t really have any idea of what is going on.” It seemed strange and unimaginable to me to be with people who had made such an impact on my life and to have the slightest idea of who they were. I wondered what was going through her head, through her spirit, through her body. I walked down the hallway of the nursing home; saw a man in a wheelchair sleeping. It scared me that one day I could be sitting in a place just like this. A building filled with all of our fears and the thoughts we avoid pondering over. No wonder she was so puzzled I thought, she was trapped in a world that had only one way to escape, death.

Every time I visited her my mother had to remind her who I was, and how she knew me. Part of me felt as though she never really fully understood exactly who I was. I felt awkward sitting with her and felt a loss of words. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t want to confuse her but I didn’t want to ignore her. It left me feeling just as helpless as she did. Where had her memories gone? Was her mind dying before her body? She went in and out of what she used to be and what she had become. Bursts of life spread across the room and seconds later vanished.

I watched her eyes examine every inch of the room, and I wondered what the alternative to this would be… She couldn’t stand up on her own, she didn’t know what was going on most of the time and she had no family to be at her side. Was this really her only option? I wondered if she wanted to live anymore, did she still find purpose? I think she understood the life she used to live was never really going to come back. Could she process the feeling of being alone anymore? Or was she unaware of it? The system we live in gives us very few options, it feels like you either need a family to support you or an institution to make sure you don’t fall. Before I left her I said I would bring photographs to show her next time, her face lit up for a moment it seemed as though the life she used to live was present again. I walked out of the nursing home sad by the fact that the next time I saw her, she would have no idea who I was and wouldn’t remember our plan to look at my photos, I wondered how long she would continue to live like this…

HW 33

From Steph: Your post started off very interesting, I was automatically pulled in an connected immediately. I found it interesting how both you and Megumi stated that death is unavoidable and how you just have to live in the moment. I feel like your post really explained everything you gained from this unit and you showed that by explaining how you have to live more in the moment. Great post and continue with the great work!

From Megumi: I really enjoyed reading your post! I found the post very detailed in imagery and grabbed my interest in reading it thoroughly. I agree that though death is unavoidable we should not fear death itself. I found this line very interesting, "Although what happens to our body isn’t always up to us, our minds and spirits are in our complete control. By knowing this the defeatist attitude about getting old, should be altered." I found this very insightful and I do agree that our negative attitude towards the elderly really needs to be changed. There is no shame in age.

From Carol (Older): It is so comforting to read your post and to know how much you are growing and maturing into such a loving, kind person with insight. When we are young it is so hard to believe we will be old someday. I like to imagine how all the older people I meet must have been and how they looked when they were younger. They were just like younger people today, like you and your friends, filled with incredible amounts of energy and enthusiasm and beautifully young! They were on the precipice of their adult life and now they are on another precipice...one that hopefully they are ready for! If we are fortunate we grow beautifully old and become examples of a life lived well. xoxo Mom

From Rebecca (Younger): I really liked the way you described every detail in the first paragraph. I too go running in the park but never take the time to notice everything around me. My favorite line was, "...even in our moments of solitude there is always someone willing to help us." It seems like you learned a lot about yourself and how you want to lead your life. Good Job. Rebecca

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To Steph: Steph - You seem to have a better understanding of your personal views on the subject of illness and dying. It seems clear that you are aware of the medical system in the United States and in other countries. I think to be informed is very important. "Over all I think Americans should be more open-minded..." How do you think you can help to shift the perspective of the country? What can we do as the next generation to change the way our country views the world? You seem to be on to something, I want to hear more!

To Jay: Although your blog post went a bit off topic I think you brought up some interesting points. "...can herd all of the sheep of America..." My question to you is, don't you feel like one of those sheep as well? What seperates you from the rest of us? How can we begin to change the way we live to stop being the sheep?

To Megumi: I found your post honest and real. Although you seem to have grown you still are unsure about how you want to lead your life, which is perfectly fine. I thought it was interesting that even after all we know about hospitals you still would go to one in a time of need. Honestly, I would probably do the same. I think your writing and insights have grown, and this is very evident especially in this post. Great Job Megumi! :)

HW 32 - Thoughts following Illness & Dying Unit

On Thursday afternoon I decided to go to Central Park for a run, once I arrived it was clear that the run wasn't happening. The path was covered in ice, however I decided to walk and hope that I wouldn't fall. I looked out at the reservoir, saw ducks gliding across the water, birds flying up above. Yet I didn’t see another person in sight. I took out my headphones and listened to the water moving, and the wind blowing. I felt calm and content with that very moment. Although I was alone, I didn’t feel alone at all; I was surrounded by all of the other life that exists along side with us. I heard footsteps and soft voices behind me. “If you fall, we will help you.” I turned around and three strangers smiled at me. They continued walking, and I stopped to watch the ducks glide and the birds fly up above. I thought to myself, how interconnected we all are, and even in our moments of solitude there is always someone willing to help us up.

Regardless of all of the nightmarish practices in our culture, I am taking something else away from this unit. I need to learn how to stop worrying and waiting for something bad to happen. Death is unavoidable, and fearing the moment it is going to happen will not get me anywhere. By embracing all of the beauty the world offers and having moments of stillness, I can bring myself back to center. I understand clearly now the importance of stepping back and taking a good look at the path we are on. These paths are not set in stone, for at any given time we have the ability to change them. Although what happens to our body isn’t always up to us, our minds and spirits are in our complete control. By knowing this the defeatist attitude about getting old, should be altered. I know now that when I do die I want to be surrounded by people who truly care about me, in my own home, where I will go in stillness.

HW 31 - Comments Three

From Megumi: I can tell from reading this whole post that you really put the effort in this project, and I enjoyed reading it a lot! Before reading the post, I only knew that alzheimer was an illness of 'forgetting everything'-but after reading your post I had a better understanding of the disease. I laughed a little when I read the little tips to prevent alzheimer and found that good to know. One line I found particularly insightful was, "however, if death is what our final destination is than are we really living or just dying? Society seems to make living out to be as normal and dying is completely not normal. Dying is completely normal, so why do we put such a strain on the step?" You brought up a good question here, and its a question up for discussion. When thinking and really analyzing death and living, we find the weirdness among what the general public just categorizes as 'normal.'

From Steph: First sentence was amazing, "As much as we have a choice on the person we want or would like to be our bodies have a mind of their own." This is compeltly true and many of us haven't accepted that yet. The 8 things you listed to prevent Altimezer's are there statistics that prove those 8 things will actually help? I really enjoyed reading your

post and it really opened my mind.

From Rebecca (Younger): This post was very engaging and exposed me to a deeper understanding of Alzheimer's. The line that I liked the most was, "It makes me wonder though if my grandfather was in two universes at once. If maybe Alzheimer’s is a point where you are merely stuck in time and although your body keeps moving forward your mind is still." Maybe having this disease allows you to literally be in the afterlife and the real world at the same time. Good Job. -Rebecca

From Carol (Older): This is an interesting blog because you are researching and explaining a disease but you are mostly talking about living life to its fullest and hopefully having a "good death" - meaning not one filled with pain and confusion. The line you wrote: "It makes me wonder though if my grandfather was in two universes at once." struck me because with all the modern technology we are all living in more than one universe at a time. We are where we are physically but we can also be somewhere else mentally and not really present. I think meditation could help fight many diseases too by calming the mind and body and bringing them together. Great presentation! Mom

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To Steph: Steph - Your post and your experience in the nursing home reminded me a lot of when I went to a nursing home. The description in your opening paragraph immediatly embraces the reader. The line that stood out to me the most was, "In our culture it is very common for families to send there ill family members to a nursing home because it is an easy way out and they don't have to take responsibility for another human being." I agree with you, at a certain point people loose patience and the ability to stay sane, they resort to the "professionals" and loose the constant contact. It would be interesting for you to visit another nursing home and see if they are similar or different. Overall I thought this was very thoughtful and liked the way you described it while presenting to the class!

To Megumi: Megumi - I found your choice of topic very interesting. I would of never considered depression to fall under the category of illness and dying, however after reading your post I see why it does. The line that stood out to me the most was, "The illness and dying unit made me uncomfortable most of the time, but helped me confront the things I have been avoiding." Being able to admit you feel uncomfortable is actually very mature, and shows that you accept your emotions and are willing to work with them. I think by exploring a topic that has affected you personally you continue to go up mountains that are unknown at first. The tone of your voice in this post was very clear and well written. Great Job! :)

To Jay: Jay - I found your approach on this homework to be a bit different but I think you did a good job with making your point. I think by examining how technology relates to illness and dying we saw it from a different perspective, the cures, the hope we find in this confusing world. The line that stood out to me was, "With diseases like, the one we focused on, AIDS, technology plays a huge role in the advancement of medicine. New drugs that are released further the fight against monsterous diseases such as HIV/AIDS." When I think of fighting a disease I normally resort to medication as the first step however in order to reach that step technology is needed. It would be interesting though to explore how diseases were cured before the dominant use of technology. Using natural resources instead of manmade. However, overall I think this was well done!

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Jessica - Great Job with your presentation I could tell you were very passionate about this topic and that it was personal. Your blog post was very informative about the details of your experience. I liked that you included a video to further explain what exactly open heart surgery is. If you were to edit this it would be interesting to hear your perspective on this surgery especially since you were alive in 2007. Overall though good job with this project!

Michelle - I really enjoyed your presentation and use of prop in school and so I decided to come check out your blog. My favorite line from your writing was, " So these elders are sent off to nursing home, where they are taken care of by a complete strangers. This is when abuse and neglect can transpire." It poses an interesting point, we are so worried about always being around people we are familiar with but once we don't have a choice we are shipped off to strangers. We don't consider the sick or elderly to have ideas and presume this is what they would want, when in reality if we were put in their shoes I doubt any of us would agree to this lifestyle change...Good Job with the post and the presentation! :)

HW 30 - Illness & Dying - Culminating Experimental Project

As much as we have a choice on the person we want or would like to be our bodies have a mind of their own. We put ourselves in the mindset that we are invincible; living with this attitude isn’t going to do us any good. We should come to terms with reality and accept the fact that we are all going to die. That one day we just won’t be here anymore, so every moment we have should be spent doing something great. My grandfather died of Alzheimer’s and I decided knowing that it is genetic that it would be to my benefit to understand the disease at a more complex level. In doing this I talked with my Dad, found books at the library on the disease, researched the Internet and watched a movie on the brain. Although there is no cure for Alzheimer’s I can say now that I understand it a bit better. Instead of avoiding our fears we should embrace them and learn how to live with them.

I listened attentively to my Dad’s words as he spoke about his father. I never saw this side of him, he seemed so sad. I sensed that it was really difficult to watch someone die like this. Someone who had always been there for you was suddenly unaware of who they were or who you were anymore. “Well it was very sad…the person I had known as a child and a grownup as well was not the same person. He continued to loose sense of who we were as a family and who we were as individuals…He was not capable of really taking care of himself and in addition to that we couldn’t let him go outside by himself because he would get lost and not know where he was. He didn’t always understand what we were trying to say to him. One of the things he did like was going to concerts, he seemed to enjoy music and listened to it very carefully and it seemed like for a moment he found someway of focusing on something that was enjoyable to him.” At this moment in time I cannot imagine having such a drastic change happen to my body and my mind. It makes me wonder though if my grandfather was in two universes at once. If maybe Alzheimer’s is a point where you are merely stuck in time and although your body keeps moving forward your mind is still.

While walking to the library with my mother we passed the nursing home where my Grandfather died. I asked her if we could go in but she didn’t think it would be a good idea. I examined all of the windows on the building; it looked more like a jail than a nursing home.The colors of the building were dull and grey. Life looked like it was sucked right out of it. “So I was “NORMAL,” but what did that mean? That I performed on a par with my peers, that I was average, that there was no obvious evidence of disease? Being normal, of course, was no insurance against getting sick. It was no guarantee that my body wasn’t already ganging up on my brain, or that my brain was not plotting against itself. Researchers still do not know when a disease like Alzheimer’s began. Was it twenty years before there was actual evidence? Was it fifty? Or was disease, as the Harvard neuroscientist Randy Buckner said, an inevitable artifact of staying alive longer than evolution had planned?” (Can’t Remember What I Forgot – Page 78) For most of us our lives will be much longer than our deaths, however, if death is what our final destination is than are we really living or just dying? Society seems to make living out to be as normal and dying is completely not normal. Dying is completely normal, so why do we put such a strain on the step?

8 Lifestyle Changes to Prevent

Alzheimer’s Disease

1. Eat more fruits and vegetables.
2. Eat berries each day.
3. Eat fish high in omega-3 fatty acids.
4. Take folic acid supplementation or eat foods high in folate.
5. Drink a glass of red wine or purple grape juice with your evening meal.
6. Follow a Mediterranean style diet.
7. Control your blood pressure.
8. Have strong social support.

This list of lifestyle changes comes from The ANTI-Alzheimer’s Prescription… Ironically enough over the past year I have changed my diet and exercise plan drastically, so in a sense subconsciously I have already been fighting and preventing my chances of getting Alzheimer’s.

In the book 100 Simple Things You Can Do to Prevent Alzheimer’s there were some shocking yet funny ideas… Play Video Games, Grow a Bigger Brain, Don’t be Afraid of Caffeine, Go Crazy for Cinnamon, Say Yes to Coffee, Google Something, Consider Medical Marijuana, Take Care of Your Teeth, Put Vinegar in Everything… Simple adjustments in the way we live or continuing the lifestyle we already lead could potentially help us in the long run.

Although there are simple ways to fight against the disease it was important for me to have a better take on exactly how it affects the brain. I took a tour of the brain on this website,http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_4719.asp … I would highly recommend taking two minutes to check this out. The most interesting fact that I took away was that Alzheimer’s basically shrinks the brain and over time the brain looses the basic parts that we need to function.

Looking at this image of the brain got me thinking about body and soul being one or being separate. A couple days ago I thought they were separate but now I feel differently. Our bodies and our souls are interconnected and without one we wouldn’t have the other. Although a person with Alzheimer’s still has their brain is their soul there anymore? How do we have a soul if we don’t know who we are?

While I was at the library I got a DVD called The Brain – Developing Memory in Developing Brains. Although Alzheimer’s affects people who are older it is interesting to back track to see where the memory starts. In the DVD they talked about how there are ways to stimulate the brain by massaging, playing pretend, having face time. Activities that even after our brains are more developed should continue to be part of our daily routines.

After examining Alzheimer’s from a number of angles, I don’t feel as scared. When we are born we don’t have a developed brain, and as we get older it seems as though although we stay in our adult body our brains go back to being blank slates. The cycle of life is merely the circular ending. We end where we begin, and in many ways that gives me comfort, that we might not be gone forever. For our souls and our minds get put back into the pool of being chosen to live. Although I am sure a lot of these sources are not completely accurate I think it shows how our culture takes a mystery and tries to solve it to the furthest degree. I talked to my Dad again after researching the disease and he said, “He died in a nursing home, when he was admitted he died within two weeks. I don’t think he was happy anymore. He sensed that he was somewhere very different than what he was used to.” When we are dying days are not going to make a difference and I feel as though we would rather be remembered for whom we were verses what we became. However, if understanding what may or may not happen to us in the future gives us comfort than I am all for it. I think we have to find the almost humor in the situation we are in. That may seem strange but there is no way of getting around dying, so why worry and wonder when we should just take advantage of the time we have. After visiting my parent’s friend in the nursing home who is in a state of dementia, it made me realize how much I wouldn’t ever want to be in that state. I would feel trapped and anxious waiting for my tranquility, I wouldn’t understand the point of living anymore.

Death is confusing but life might be even more confusing, and it is okay to feel confused but I think we should spend more time just living verses pondering over ideas that no one really knows the answer too. However, I think this unit was important to understanding the fundamental ideas on our culture’s take on life and the price of life. At a certain point though you have to come to terms with reality and instead of fighting it just let it take its course. So eat your berries, exercise more, create a social circle that will support you and don't be afraid to be afraid, instead of avoiding our emotions embrace them.

Citations:

1. "Alzheimer's Association - Inside the Brain: An Interactive Tour." Alzheimer's Association. Web. 16 Jan. 2011. .
2. Halpern, Sue. Can't Remember What I Forgot: the Good News from the Front Lines of Memory Research. New York: Harmony, 2008. Print.
3. Fortanasce, Vincent. The Anti-Alzheimer's Prescription: the Science-proven Plan to Start at Any Age. New York: Gotham, 2008. Print.
4. The Brain – Developing Memory in Developing Brains.
5. Carper, Jean. 100 Simple Things You Can Do to Prevent Alzheimer's and Age-related Memory Loss. New York: Little, Brown, 2010. Print.

HW 29 - Reading & Noting Basic Materials

Isolation

It seems practical, to check yourself into a hospital, once you have reached a phase in your life that needs much more attention and help, from the professionals. However, the moment you step into a hospital and label yourself, as the patient is also the moment you separate yourself from the world you had established your whole life. After visiting a nursing home and interacting with my parents’ friend I came to realize that although she was surrounded by others, who were going through the same problems feeling helpless and alone can still be an emotion experienced. In a building filled with hundreds of other isolated people you would think that they would mingle and interact but in many ways they seem to isolate themselves from each other.

While working in a hospital a few summers ago I often had to isolate myself from the patients. There were certain patients who were so sick that exposure to my germs or vise versa could kill them or expose me to something very dangerous. So whenever it was necessary for me to check on them I had to suit up in a mask, gloves and a gown. I remember thinking I looked like someone detaching a bomb. These people probably felt like they weren’t humans anymore, for their interactions with other breathing human beings was so sparingly. In Goffman’s STIGMA there becomes an understanding that even if you fight the disease you will always be thought of as the disease. “…someone with a particular blemish into someone with a record of having a particular blemish.” (Page 9) Your label will turn from fighter to survivor yet you continue to be isolated from our picture of normality.

Paying for Medical Care

Like most things in our life money seems to be a huge factor. This includes our health and the value of it. In Kaufman’s And A Time to Die: How American Hospitals Shape the End of Life she enlightens us with the disturbing yet true idea that “dying people are not wanted in medical institutions.” (Page 29) Medicare has a direct link to this problem as they are the ones usually paying for the dying peoples bills, through their cash flow they have the ability to determine who stays and who goes, literally speaking. Moore bashes our countries medical system and brings our attention to the rest of the western world in his film Sicko. We are given a look into what universal health care entails. Comparatively in Landmark Obama’s plan for health care is broken down for us, and gives us a picture into what a world without 45 million lacking coverage looks like. The way the medical system works unfortunately allows the life span to either decrease or increase. Even the poorest people in Britain are in better health than the richest person in America. (Sicko)

The Process of Dying

In many ways dying is much more complicated than simply living. We have to factor in many levels of issue. First off the issue of consent, which is dominantly focused on in Wiseman’s Near Death. Do they “let him fly…” or go against D.N.R. and try to save him the person from the end of it all? There is the question of dying in a hospital verses dying in your home. Living on a tube or just letting go. Factoring all of these in gets quite complicated. Our guest speaker gave us the approach of not getting hospitals involved at the end but just being with the person you love in the comfortableness of the home you created together. For those moments mean much more than watching someone fade in a cold room that has no connection to who you are as a person. For death is “the moment at which human control over human existence finds an outer limit.” (Anthony Giddens)

Being Sick

Looking back I realize now that my Grandmother was very sick, I think she put on a act a lot of the time to avoid showing just how much pain she was in. I realize now that when she said to me last year that she didn’t understand why she was here, it was because she was just trying to ease me into this idea. I think she felt isolated and alone in this world, regardless that she understood how much her family cared about her, without having my Grandfather around in her mind I think she felt meaningless. I wish I could say that this unit has exposed and opened me up to the strangeness of death and that feeling sad shouldn’t be factored into the equation of moving on from this world. In many ways though it makes me even sadder how death is treated in this country. It makes you feel like a battery run robot that either will be repaired or tossed. I think right now dying seems much scarier than it will when we are older. Personally though I fear the system more than the actual act.

HW 28 - Comments Two

Megumi's Comment to Me: I found your post very insightful and deep. The post painted a great visual that made me want to read more. I found this line particularly insightful, "It was as if this woman was slowly turning back into an infant with no sense of her surroundings." This line moved me, along with the whole post in general.

Steph's Comment to Me: While reading your story I felt as if I was right there with you in the nursing home, you even explained the nurses in such great detail I had visuals. Your best line was "We walked passed another room where yet more people in wheelchairs were dressed up and wearing hats saying ‘Happy New Year." I pictured a scene from a movie and it expressed a sense of comfort. Although people were in wheel chairs they still had holiday spirit and were festive.

Rebecca's (Younger) Comment to Me: I think that this story was very vivid, and made me want to read more. While reading this I could imagine everything; the crunchy snow, the desserts, etc.. My favorite line was "A women who used to capture every moment with the snap of her camera, had little recollection of her memory anymore." It gave me an idea of who she used to be, and was very deep and sad. Over all it was a really great story! Good job!

Carol's (Older) Comment to Me: "This place that had become her home was also her waiting room." is a line in your post that stood out for me. Her room, in the nursing home has been made into a miniature version of her home on the lower eastside... with books and paintings and prints and photographs. This was done by her friends who have loved and respected her throughout her life but were no longer able to take care of her physical needs 24/7. She had a good and interesting life filled with adventure and friends. I met your father through her when she had her annual birthday party and all of our lives changed because of her. Now while she is in the "waiting room" we want to being her comfort, love and show our gratitude for all that she brought to this world. xoxo mom

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Megumi - I found your blog post very captivating and personal. You really went into depth with your own feelings about what was happening. I liked that you connected it directly to the other sources used in this class. The line, "I was shocked but I knew I had to stay strong so I could reassure her that everything will be okay." It made me think about how whenever I am around someone who is very sick I often get more emotional than they are. It seems like the person who isn't sick is more scared than the person actually suffering. I enjoyed reading this nicely written story.

Steph - I really enjoyed reading this blog post. It showed equally your perspective and the woman in the story. It seems as though through her experience you have been able to open up to your own ideas on life. The line that stood out to me was, "As I was leaving her house she stated that she never wants to go back to a hospital and if she's going to die she wants to die in the comfort of her own home... Hearing her say this wasn't too surprising because if I was in her situation I would want to do the same." This seems like a common trend we are noticing throughout this unit. People would rather be surrounded by the ones they love the most verses the strangers who are paid to keep them alive. I think you have a good start to this story and I would like to hear more!

Jay - Although this post didn't do the assignment correctly you addressed some interesting ideas. The line that stood out to me the most was, "Were fine with observing others and making conclusions about them, but we never seem to bring ourselves to question our own lives." I agree with you on this point, we are constantly insulting others actions yet we never take time to think about our own behavior. It would be interesting to tie this idea in with illness and dying. Is this why we forget to check in with ourselves and end up wasting time that could of been spent fixing our own problems? What gives us the mentality to want to think so low about other people? You have some good ideas just follow the instructions better next time.

HW 27 - Visiting an unwell person

As we drove to see her I found myself in a daze. I was replaying the last time I had seen her over and over in my head. She didn’t know who I was; it was as if I didn’t exist in her mind. Strangely enough if she wasn’t born and hadn’t entered my parents life, I truly would of never existed. The car came to a stop. I was awoken out of the daze by my mother’s voice. “Come on Sarah, we are here.” She softly said to me. The last of the snow was beginning to melt; yet there was still a crunch underneath the soles of our feet as we walked.

My father reminded my mother that we needed to stop at the Hungarian pastry shop. A place that from the outside seemed dull and lifeless but once one entered they felt the smells and the sounds lifting their spirits up. I stood at the counter with my parents mesmerized by all of the sweets before our eyes. I watched my mother select exactly what she thought would bring life back to her dear friend. As we left the pastry shop the smells and the sounds started to die out, bringing us back to the crunchy sidewalk.

Entering the nursing home I heard music, I peered into a room right off the entrance and saw wheelchair after wheelchair. From what I could see they were having a New Years Eve party at 2:30 in the afternoon. We walked passed another room where yet more people in wheelchairs were dressed up and wearing hats saying ‘Happy New Year.’ We walked on to the elevator accompanied by two other nurses. The looks on their faces seemed exhausted.

As the elevator door opened there she was sitting in her wheelchair. We walked towards her and from the look on her face she seemed a little puzzled. My mother was the first to speak, she seemed to realize who she was and she said to my father, “for a moment I didn’t know who you were, only a moment though.” I could tell she didn’t know who I was. My mother introduced me to her, “This is Sarah, our daughter.” She didn’t seem to understand; maybe I was the only one who realized that.

We all sat around a table, surrounded with raspberries and the napoleon we had got from the Hungarian pastry shop. I could feel the smells and the sounds beginning to show life amongst this dark room. She exclaimed with every bite of how delicious the food was. I had never seen someone have so much pleasure and joy from the simplicity of food. She asked me questions; I wondered if deep down somewhere inside her she knew exactly who I was. A women who used to capture every moment with the snap of her camera, had little recollection of her memory anymore. All I could think about while we sat there was this was where she was going to die. This place that had become her home was also her waiting room. She seemed helpless and no longer a full human being. Although she was still breathing and still speaking, part of her seemed gone. It was as if this woman was slowly turning back into an infant with no sense of her surroundings. I wondered if she still was happy or felt alive, what had happened to her could happen to anyone. I think that is what scared me the most.

HW 26 - Looking Back & Forward in the Unit

1. The United States is the only country in the western world without free medical health insurance. (Michael Moore – Sicko – 2007)
2. When a person is in a state in which they no longer have the ability to make choices on their own, others must step in to help guide them to make the right decision. However consent gets very confusing. (“Near Death” – Fredrick Wiseman -1989)
3. Our culture in many ways has lost touch with the rest of the world. We pity ourselves far more than necessary, we forget of the people who are actually suffering. (Mountains Beyond Mountains – Tracy Kidder – 2004)
4. We all have lost touch with our bodies. We rely on them to keep pumping and to keep moving. It isn’t till they stop pumping and stop moving that we begin to become concerned. “When you have an illness, the body you’ve been ignoring becomes crucial.” (Andy Snyder - 2010)
5. We shield ourselves away from death and go against nature in hope that we will succeed. Our goal is to live as long as possible, yet at a certain point breathing just might not be enough. (The unit as a whole)

Throughout this unit I have found all of the sources to be helpful. I found it interesting watching Sicko and then watching Near Death. The contrast between the two films was very prominent. It seems as though Moore approached it with the idea that every member involved in the United States health system is evil. While Wiseman took a more realistic approach and showed the audience a normal day in a hospital. In a sense you could say that Moore took a quote but then took out certain parts to make his point, while Wiseman just showed the quote in its entirely original form. I think it was important to see both interpretations of the system because it opened us to see the difference between ideas. Through this we were able to continue to think about which side was being more truthful.

I also found reading Mountains Beyond Mountains to be quite useful to my exploration of this unit. Although at the end it seemed that many of the ideas were being repeated it was interesting to understand how differently many cultures approach illness and dying. I found Farmer to be so ambitious and inspiring. I often would try to put myself in his shoes while reading and I just can’t imagine living the way he did. I think this book made me realize how easy I have it. If Farmer hadn’t walked into many of these people’s lives they probably would have had no hope. To them he was a god, yet I don’t think of my own doctor as that sort of figure. We have become so immune to the idea of having a doctor to help us at all time that we don’t realize how important and significant they are to our lives.

When we return from break I would like to explore the government’s role directly linked to the insurance companies, drug companies etc. After learning about the government’s relation to the food system in our country it seems as though they have much more power than we realize. I would also like to focus on religious aspects of illness and dying. Specifically how different people deal with the subject. Scientifically speaking I would like to understand how over the years certain cures to diseases have allowed us to live longer. I think the best way to explore these topics would be through having time to independently research them. Another good resource could be finding more documentaries that cover these topics.