Considering this is the season for prom and the tradition is prevalent in most high schools, it wasn’t hard to find people willing to talk about their experiences or what they were expecting. I interviewed someone who had their prom on Friday and chose not to go, someone who went to their prom a year ago and someone who attended their prom many, many years ago.
The first person I interviewed decided not to attend her prom, a brave decision considering every other girl in her catholic school was attending. In just the past couple of days her Facebook has blown up with picture after picture of this event, although part of her feels a bit left out in this sense, she firmly believes her decision to not attend was the right one for her. “I did not go to prom mainly because I thought it was too expensive for something I really did not care about. The majority of my social life throughout high school has not been with people in my high school; my closest friends and social circle were not affiliated with my school or anyone who would be at my prom. The idea of parading around in a tacky dress with a date in a tux in front of parents, teachers, and classmates seems ridiculously shallow and a bit pathetic. If our society’s idea of coming of age is an absurd mix of pageantry and intoxication, I honestly have no desire to take part. As I have grown up throughout high school, I felt I have come of age in the instances when I have taken on new responsibilities and experienced new things. While many people think of prom as a special night in which you say good bye to your high school life, I have gotten that feeling of closure by simply hanging out with the people I call my true friends and enjoy being around.” I think she makes a good point when mentioning our society’s idea of coming of age. Living in the culture that we do sex, drugs and alcohol consume every form of communication, it is constantly being flashed on the television and it seems as though on a daily basis some celebrity is getting a D.U.I or having their sex tape released to the public. The maturity level of our generation is so minimal; that it seems pretty expected to have behavior like this.
The second person I interviewed went to her prom a year ago, and the memory captured that night still holds a place in her heart. They way she talked about it seemed deeply sincere and although she didn’t have a date it didn’t seem to make a difference to the experience she had. “Prom to me wasn’t about the dancing, the music, or even dressing up. Prom showed the growth and maturity in my grade. Throughout high school I didn't spend time with my grade and felt I would never be compatible with them. As senior year came and went, I had never felt closer to this group of 126 seniors. Prom to me tied together my year with my friends and how much each one of them meant to me. Yes, there were the select few not allowed into prom due to use of drugs and alcohol, but in a way I view that as we are still learning. Dressing up with all the makeup and hair-dos made me feel pretty, but my grade made me feel beautiful for they accepted me and loved me for who I am inside and out. Prom is a memory I will never forget.” There was something very positive about the way she spoke about prom; she didn’t really mention anything about the social norms but more of why it was so important to her personally. I think it gave her a sense of closure and community, which is actually quite unusual considering most are normally thinking only about themselves.
The last person I interviewed attended her prom over thirty years ago… It seems as though times have truly changed, when she went the whole event was so simplistic and now it has turned into yet another item on the market to sell. “I went to my Prom in 1973. Looking back though it’s kind of like a coming out party where you enter adulthood. It’s often the first formal affair that you go to just on your own. It’s kind of like fairytale, where the girls are the princesses and the boys are the princes, and TONS of money is spent. When I went to Prom I didn’t even think about it I just went. I had a boyfriend, it was different. It wasn’t a big deal, we had our Prom in the gymnasium, I was on the Prom committee we decorated the gym with Kleenex flowers. We went out for dinner, you danced and then you went home, it wasn’t such a big thing. I don’t think parents were so involved in giving money; the tickets were probably like fifteen dollars each. The Prom like every other tradition has seemed to have turned into a big excuse for spending gobs of money on nothing, it’s a big commercial event and it’s another chance for kids who don’t have anything to feel left out or less then than other kids. But if the kids have a good time, then fine.” Although the basic framework of prom hasn’t changed that much, the whole idea behind it truly has. No longer is it homemade and personal, it has turned into this whole industry of hiring a number of people to assist your every need. Your hair, your make-up, altering your dress, fitting your tux, driving you around, taking your photo, all by a complete stranger. The personal has been replaced with a sense of hierarchy.
Overall the three responses I got varied. The first person seemed very anti-prom, the second person seemed very pro-prom and the third person seemed very in the middle of it all. They sort of hit the arch types that society creates. Not everyone is going to love it, not everyone is going to hate it and not everyone is going to be neutral. By having these three different types of people, it becomes clear as to what and why certain things are being marketed. The various types of prom dresses, the one for the extremest and the one for the laid back. The whole concept of 'Anti-Prom' parties in replacement for actually going to prom. For one night there is literally a place for every person regardless of their take on it all, in real life though it is more likely that your place will have to be made by you, for you. So are we really coming of age or entering the next phase of our life in a total misconception of reality?
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